Another wordy post

This is not  a Wordless Wednesday. I need to vent. Here I go...

The past 7ish days have been hard. Very hard. We've taken 3 car rides after midnight (that are usually an hour each), spent hours rocking a very grumpy baby, spent hours trying to get her to nap, and hours trying to get her to eat. Lillian has turned into a monster and I have no idea why. Neither does the Doctor. She started protesting naps and got really overtired. I changed nothing in their schedule, she just decided that she didn't want to take her morning nap anymore. She also stopped eating in the morning. She'd take a bottle first thing, but only drink half of it and then want nothing else until 1 pm or so. By that time, she is WIRED and absolutely nothing will get her to sleep besides letting her wear herself out by screaming. She'll take a 30 minute nap or so and sometimes, if I'm lucky, she'll get another half hour-hour nap before her new bed time between 9 and 10. 

What the Hell? Sorry, but seriously, nothing has changed. She had an ear infection a little while ago and I was thinking that it came back. So, we took her to the doctor yesterday, but she checked out perfectly healthy. No infection, no inflamed throat, no stuffy nose, and no new teeth. Nothing is wrong with her. The doctor said when they reach major milestones it can make their brain extra active and throw off their sleeping. She thinks that's what it is because Lillian recently learned to stand and has even taken a few steps along furniture. Here's the thing though, Sophie learned those things too and is fine. 

I think one of the hardest things about twins is not comparing them. I've called the doctor several times over the past 9 months just because the girls are so different and I'm not sure what's normal. When they were newborns Sophie (at least I think it was Sophie) didn't poop for over a week! I called the doctor on that one because her sister was pooping regular and guess what?  Both girls were 'normal'. Apparently they're both 'normal' here too. Guess what though? I like Sophie's normal a lot more than Lillian's normal. Lillian's new normal is awful. 

Another issue we face is that we live in a 2 bedroom apartment with 2 babies. I've been asked dozens of times if the babies wake each other up when they cry and the answer is an absolute YES. It only takes Sophie 3-5 minutes until she's awake and screaming with her sister. The first thing we're doing when we move into our house is splitting up the girls.

It wouldn't be so bad if she was happy during the day. I mean, I can handle getting up with her and not sleeping well. I've been not sleeping well for most of the past year and I'm pretty used to it. My body has adapted. The thing it's not used to is a cranky, winy, overly sensitive baby. If something doesn't go her way, she throws tantrums. Yes, full out tantrums. She arches her back, throws herself to the ground and starts kicking. Sounds like a 2 year old who needs time out, right? Well, she's our 9 month old baby that you can't  discipline. The only thing you can do is make sure she's not by anything hard so when she falls, she doesn't get hurt. 

I've tried everything. Limiting noises and activities in the evening, warm baths (that always backfires), swaddling her from the waist down, feeding her more (she usually doesn't take it), feeding her less, rocking, binkie, bottle in the bed, bottle with diluted cherry juice (natural melatonin) and chamomile, music in their room, letting her sleep in our bed, having Josh put her to bed, giving her pain medicine just in case, strapping her to her bouncy seat in the living room and turning on a movie, letting her scream it out, etc, etc.

I guess I should be grateful that they're both not acting like this. It would be much harder if they were both wigged out all the time. This morning Lillian woke up a little after 4 and she finally just passed out on the living room floor. I'm terrified to move her, so when Sophie wakes up (in about an hour or so I'm guessing) we'll be hanging out in my room. I guess another thing I should be grateful for is that it allows me to spend one on one time with each baby. So please send good thoughts, vibes and prayers our way. Hopefully this really is just a phase and her brain will calm down. That sounds so stupid...her brain will calm down?

Let's hope that we start seeing less of this

and this

and more of this

I miss my sweet, passive, adorable little baby.