We have a winner...

And the winner of the yummy cupcakes is...

Jeremy and Whitney

 

who said, 

"Just liked it on Facebook and following food affair blog!! Shared the giveaway on my Facebook page, and Shared Food affairs Facebook page on my Facebook page!! Can't wait till thursday to see if I win!!!"

Congrats, Whitney!
Email Jessa at  
birthmothers4adoption@gmail.com
to claim your prize. 

And guys, can we talk about the fact that now I have pink eye and Lillian has a wicked cold?
 I've tried really hard to not complain this last week, but this downright sucks.

 At least my girls are still as adorable as ever.

Here's to a happy, healthier weekend filled with conference, a birthday for yours truly and much, much laziness.

Cupcake Giveaway? Yes, please.

I've got this friend/coworker/step-cousin named Jessa. Not only does she run a successful adoption blog (and with that, hosts retreats and organizes fundraisers, and runs a scholarship program etc) but she recently decided to take on the cupcake making business. Jessa loves cupcakes, so naturally it makes sense for her to sell hers. She wanted to know if I wanted to do a giveaway and I thought it would be the perfect way to...I don't know...say I'm sorry for my crappy blog? It's gone downhill since January and I realize it. I'm still not sure how I feel about it, but for now, here's your chance to win some yummy cupcakes!

Pin It

Ever hosted an event and wished for cheap affordable catering?

Ever wanted to eat delicious cupcakes with fun flavors?

At  A Food Affair you can get that!

I am hosting a giveaway from A Food Affair 

The Prize: 2 dozen mini cupcakes in your choice of flavor

Here is what you have to do enter.

Required Entries:

Like A Food Affair on Facebook

and

Follow A Food Affair's Blog

You have to live between Logan and Provo ,Utah

Optional tasks for more entries

Share this giveaway on facebook

Share A Food Affairs Facebook Page

Come back here after you complete each task and tell me when you are done! Then on Thursday, the 29th I will announce the winner!

 Best of Luck!

Yard Work

With the warmer weather, we've (and by we've, I mean Josh) has been doing yard work. This spring, we're putting in our yard, complete with sprinklers, top soil, grass, some sort of bushes, a couple of trees and other pretty things that make up a yard. Right now, Josh is doing the prep work. We're discovering though, that the prep work is brutal because our yard is FULL of rocks. Like, it basically looks like a gravel pit. I'm pretty sure if all of the rocks magically disappeared, our yard would sink 20 feet. Anyway, since Josh has been spending so much time outside (which he's a trooper for doing because he's/we're still sick) the girls and I have joined him. They love playing in dirt and they love helping their dad put the rocks in the wheelbarrow.  Are you ready for a picture overload? Good. Oh and they're hair is crazy. I wasn't about to let them play in dirt after their bath. I ain't no dummy. ;)

So that was the first day. The next day (or maybe it was two days later...) I decided they needed buckets. They were obsessed with playing with the shovel and rake, which I kind of freaked out about. So, I got them some buckets and shovels of their own. 

It started out great...

{notice Lillian eying the real tools...}

She wasn't fooled for too long

Sophie however, continued to play.

 

And then she started picking up the rocks...

While Sophie continued to play...

After a few more minutes though, Lillian came back. 

 

And that's that. A couple days worth of playing in the dirt. I'm sure there will be many more posts like this, seeing as in the 3 days Josh worked on the yard, he only got a fraction of it done. I should probably help him... That's what a good wife would do, right? ;)

And P.S. There's going to be a giveaway on this old blog of mine tomorrow. You should check it out because it's going to be delicious...

"It's ya sista!"

If I had to pick a favorite parenting moment, this morning would probably be it (the other favorite was when my girls taught me about forgiveness a month or so ago. I never blogged about it, but it was amazing). Sophie continued to lay on the floor after I changed her and Lillian, after realizing that her sister was not getting up to play, decided to lay next to her. As they giggled, I ran to get my camera. I didn't have time to open any windows or make sure the settings on my camera were perfect, so I have a collection of imperfect photos. However, the moment was perfect and that's all that matters. I started saying, "It's ya sista!" is a high pitched (well actually since I'm sick and currently sound like a man, it probably wasn't very high pitched at all) and they would giggle as Lillian pointed to Sophie. It really was perfect and I felt as though the last 19 months had finally paid off.

 

 

I love this last one. Sophie sucking on her binky and Lillian sucking on her blanket. 

A perfect moment with perfect sisters.

As I said on facebook...

My sister is boss. She just is. She made her second television appearance as an Interior Designer and is currently hosting a giveaway on her blog. You should check it out because it's quite the prize and requires very little on your part. In case you missed her segment this morning, here it is.

 
 

See how much cooler she is than me? She can pull of white pants and a hot pink shirt. That takes skillz.

And just so you know, you can enter the giveaway no matter where you live. It's all done electronically, so you could be in Timbuktu and she'd still be able to design a room for you!

One last thing, I'm going to be hosting a giveaway of my own later this week, so be sure to check back. I promise I'm going to make this blog un-suck very soon. :)

Another random list

I tried to create a new blog last night. A private blog just for me. I miss journaling and thought a private blog would be a good way to jump back into it. Well, after getting the "invalid title" message at least a dozen times, I gave up. So let it be known the the URL justforbrittanymang.blogspot.com is sadly still available.

Sophie is doing better. She'll have random spurts of energy where she'll run around and giggle, but then she usually tires herself out and runs back to me. She's wanted me and only me for the last 48ish hours and I must admit that it's been tiring. Ask me if I showered yesterday... Wait, don't because I didn't. I guess I could have showered with her, but I like her facing away from me because she won't stop coughing.

I have no motivation. Absolutely none. I've got a lot of school work to do, laundry to fold, dishes to put away, and baby clothes to organize, etc. etc. but I can't find motivation. I was doing really good for a week or so and then we all started feeling crummy and now I'm back at square one. Blah.

I'm so, so, SO mad at myself right now. I was taking pictures of the girls today and I suddenly found myself with a full memory card. I thought that all of the pictures were on my computer, so I started deleting away. Well guess what? They weren't. I deleted the most adorable, funny pictures of the girls trying to sit on some balls (you know the brightly colored, plastic ones...). They were super cute and now most of them are gone.  Here's the cutest one that I still have, but know that it's pretty lame compared to the super giggly, cheesy pictures I deleted. Ugh. I'm so mad at myself. :(

If you guys could send a quick prayer or send happy thoughts to my friend, Celia, I'd really appreciate it. 3 kids (all under 3) with RSV and all of the adults in their home have a variety of illnesses too (Strep, pneumonia and the flu to be exact).

The Walking Dead? I'm not sure what I can say other than... Holy crap.
Actually, I do have something to say about it. Am I the only one who thought it was stupid to "make a perimeter" at the end of the episode? I mean, if I was living in the post apocalyptic world and was surrounded by zombies, I wouldn't let a car running out of gas stop me from leaving the zombie infested area. Especially, when there's another car in the little caravan. I mean, can they sit on each others laps or something? What does staying there for the night accomplish? They're still going to be out of gas in the morning and there's no way anyone is going to sleep. There are hundreds of zombies in those woods! Why on earth didn't they just pile into the grey SUV? They could have easily fit 3 or 4 people in the trunk and heck, I'd volunteer my lap if it meant getting further from the farm. Am I stupid for feeling that way?

And that's about all I have to say. A short list of random thoughts by yours truly. 

A whole bunch of sickies.

Sophie and I spent some time at Instacare last night. I debated whether to take her in all day, but we finally decided to go. Turns out she's got a double ear infection and pink eye. Yuck. I couldn't get her medicine until this morning, which means she'll be contagious until tomorrow morning, so we've been trying our best to keep the girls separated. Do you know how hard that is? Let me tell you... 

Every time I've given Sophie some of her medicine (ear drops, eye drops and an oral antibiotic ($88 worth of drugs, thank you very much) Lillian freaks out. She comes up and starts hitting me because she doesn't like to see her sister like that and I think she's afraid that she's next. Maybe I just don't notice how they're always playing with or next to each other, but it seems like this morning, they especially want to be by their sis. And I'm freaking out because they play with all of the same toys, so Sophie's germs are probably covering everything. I've sprayed down what I could, but I'm still freaking out about it. This is gross guys, really gross. We've got about 23 hours until Sophie isn't contagious anymore and then I'll be able to breathe a sigh of relief. It's almost tempting to just let them play together because it seems that Lillian is bound to get it too, but seeing how miserable Sophie is and knowing that we'd spend another $88 on medicine for Lillian, I have to at least try to keep her healthy. So for now, I spiked Lillian's sippy cup with Kick Ass Immune drops and am hoping for the best. Oh and Josh is sick too. Cold chills, sweats, sore throat, etc. Our house is a germ infestation.

If you could spare some positive vibes and send them our way, I'd appreciate it. :)

 And p.s. My sister is going to be on Studio 5 tomorrow and she's announcing a pretty awesome giveaway. Check it out at 11 on channel 5 (if you're in Utah that is...) And if you're not in Utah, you can still enter her giveaway on her blog. It's going to be a good one.

What our week has looked like

Lots of tears

Lots of laughs

Lots of visits with family and friends

Lots of warm weather

Lots of work

Lots of falling down

Lots of planning

Lots of rock collecting
Lots of rock dumping

Lots of eating

Lots of sleeping

Lots of words

Overall, it's been a good week, but I'm not too sad to say it's over. 

Happy Friday!

Oh and thanks for the encouragement after the last post. I got several emails, phone calls, and text messages making sure I wasn't off my rocker for good. I'm glad to know I'm not the only mom who's hit her limit. You people make me feel a lot more normal. ;)

Can I just tell you about my day yesterday?

Yesterday was by far the hardest day as I parent I've ever had. I lost it guys, lost it. It started when I woke up in the middle of the night for several hours. Josh worked a graveyard shift and I'm a dork and have a hard time with just me in our giant bed. I tossed and turned, scrolled through Pinterest, turned on music, started reading...all in hopes of falling asleep. I was playing Words With Friends with Josh (seriously, funnest game ever. It's done wonders for my marriage) when all of the sudden, I heard Sophie start to cry. I waited to see if she'd calm down, but she didn't. She got louder and louder and louder until it became a scream. I went and got her, brought her into bed with me and tickled her face to get her to sleep again. She did and within a few minutes of her falling asleep, I was out. 

A few hours later, I was woken up by a screaming Lillian. Josh was home by now, so I quickly went to get her so she wouldn't wake him up. That was where the fun began. My girls were awful. I've never seen them so horrible before. We had screams, tears, kicking, biting, back arching and slamming to the floor, hitting, throwing sippy cups, refusing food, tears, tears, more tears and screams. I was frantic. Josh has only been home for a few hours and he needed sleep. I pulled out all my tricks, Elmo, candy, juice, youtube videos, music, books, coloring, etc. Nothing was working. They'd calm down for a few minutes (long enough for me to paint Sophie's toes), but the littlest thing would set them both off again. By 10, I felt like I was loosing my mind. I actually was scaring myself at how frustrated I was. Not that I would have done anything bad, but I had the very real thought that this is how parents end up on the new and end up in jail. I had finally had that snapping moment after 19 months of parenting twins. I called my neighbor, who's got an 11 year old that I knew was home. As soon as she answered, I started sobbing. I pleaded for her to send her daughter over and take one of the girls outside or something so I could clear my head/cry alone/possibly shower/possibly eat something/but most importantly to let Josh sleep. We hung up the phone and no more than 30 seconds later, help was at my door. No questions asked. She grabbed Sophie's coat and took my screaming child outside. Sadly, Josh woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. Well, I don't know if couldn't is the right word, because I'm sure he could have, but he didn't. He stayed with Lillian and let me cry/vent to him about my morning and let me take a really long shower. Guys, this is after he worked a 12 hour shift in the middle of the night and only after a couple hours of sleep. Josh is amazing. Not only that, but he continued to stay up with me and help with the girls. I took my time getting ready, had a few more crying spells and finally calmed down around 1. 

It was bad. Really, really bad... 

But it's over. We're ok. 

I've honestly never had a day like yesterday. The only time that slightly compares is that one day where (I think I blogged about it...) I had to shut myself on our balcony because my girls would not stop screaming. They were probably...5ish months old at the time and we all just cried and cried and cried. 

Parenting is hard. 

Parenting twins can be emotionally and physically exhausting. 

And sometimes, I suck at it. 

But today ended on a very positive note. I talked to my Grandma on the phone and broke the news that we're coming to visit her sometime in the next month or two, so she can finally meet the twins. Every time I talk to her, I want to be a better mother. A better wife. I'm not sure anyone has ever loved their spouse as much as my Grandma loved/loves my Grandpa. Even though he's been gone for almost 10 years, she still talks about him with such a sweet, tender love. 

I also went out with my sister to photograph some of her client's homes. Beautiful homes that have been designed and decorated by my talented sister. We talked, gossiped a bit, vented, laughed and it gave me several hours to take off my "mom" hat and be...a normal person? (I know that sounded bad, but trust me, today was bad...) I was left feeling grateful and recharged. 

Grateful for neighbors who so quickly come to my rescue. Grateful for a husband who helps me even if that means only getting 4ish hours of sleep in a day. Grateful for my family. So, so grateful for my family. Recharged with the confidence (don't ask how I gained confidence through all this...) that I can do this. I can mother twins. And I don't have to be afraid to ask for help because there are people around me that are willing to help and it's ok to put aside my pride once and a while and admit I need a break. I missed a call and got a voicemail from my neighbor when I was out, making sure I was ok. I probably freaked her out after our phone conversation/my tearful plea, but I'm so grateful to know that there are people around me that have my back. 

And I have theirs. 

And I have a great husband. 

And a great family.

 And I am the mother of twins. 

I can do this, guys. I can do this.

19

I woke up today and realized the girls were 19 months old. 

They're closer to two than one. 

It's mind boggling. 

Sophie

 

 

Sophie has kind of turned into a baby this month. I mentioned it before, but she saw that episode of Elmo giving up his binky and ever since, she's been hooked. I'm torn about what to do. One one hand I know that it's bad. Actually, it's horrible. She hasn't touched the thing since she was 8-9ish months old. Now is not the time to start a habit that a lot of parents are trying to break at this age. On the other hand though, it makes her incredibly happy. If she's screaming, it calms her down. If she's hurt, it comforts her. I've hid most of them, but there's still a few around and I usually don't stop her when she finds them. Sometimes, with two toddlers in the house, I enjoy 50% of them being quiet. I hope it's a short lived phase, but if it looks like it's not, I think they all might have to disappear... 

Sophie is getting better at communicating. She doesn't sign please, but she's often say, "eees" (also doubles for cheese) when she wants something. Like I said in the last post, she's always saying "wusthat?" along with "ball", "baby", "sis", "book", "wow", "puppy", "eye" and a few other ones that I'm sure I'm forgetting. So, not a ton, but she's getting better.

This girl is not a very good eater. For every 5 bites Lillian takes, she'll take 1 1/2. She usually has to watch Lillian take a bite of something before she'll want it, unless she knows it's something she'll like. She's also not afraid to spit food in your face to tell you that she does not want to eat it.

Lillian

 

Lillian is also really good at communicating. Sometimes, I think she's a little better than Sophie. The most adorable thing about her is how she says 'please'. She rubs her belly with both hands and she knows just when to do it. I hardly ever have to ask, "say please" because she just does. She'll throw a sippy cup on my lap and frantically start rubbing her belly. Or she'll be reaching for something she can't quite get, look at me and start rubbing. It's incredibly adorable. She also has mixed up the sign "more" and "milk". I've tried to teach her the real sign for "milk" but she wants nothing to do with it and instead signs "more". It's pretty cute. 

Lillian is a curious baby. She's always watching what somebody is doing, or trying to figure out how something is held together, or trying  to climb a little higher, etc. She has such a funny look of concentration when she's puzzled about something and gets really happy when she figures it out and usually ends the task with a round of applause for herself. 

Lillian loves music. She dances by spinning in circles and moving her head from side to side. Sometimes she waves her arm around with it, but her balance is oddly thrown off when she does and we either have a giggle fest or a tear fest that follows. 

Together

 

 

 

I'm amazed at their relationship. I can't imagine only having one of them at a time. These girls are twins. They are always aware of their sister's emotions, likes, dislikes, what she's doing, how she's sitting, what she's eating, what she's playing with, if she's talking, if she's laughing etc. They influence each other every second of the day and sometimes it's for good, but the older they get, the more they team up and get into trouble... Really though, these guys have never been better friends than this month. 

They are still doing great in nursery at church. I really didn't think they'd have a problem and every time I've peaked through the hole in the door, I see them happily playing side by side. They are friendly babies with little stranger anxiety. That's such a huge relief to me because although they're thrilled to see us when we pick them up, I know that I can leave them and not be that parent of that (or those) kids. Knock on wood that they continue to like it...

Along those same lines, they really do get along with anyone. They especially like our family and friends and neighbors, but hardly anyone scares them. It's a little scary to me because if I don't have my eye on them constantly, I feel like they could easily get snatched up. They're just that friendly. 

The girls don't really walk anymore. They run. Everywhere. It's getting harder and harder for me to keep up with them (and hold them) by myself. They become less and less like babies every day. 

They still love watching youtube videos with Josh. It's definitely their #1 favorite thing to do. The screams they yell when they see the youtube homepage are kind of alarming. They go crazy. 

Another month has passed. And I think another month has become my favorite.

 Happy 19 months, girls!