My girls

Because I don't blog as often anymore, I don't look through pictures like I used to. I'm not sure if that's really good or bad, but I do know that it makes me forget the pictures that I do have. As I was looking though them tonight, I debated whether I wanted to share them now, or just want until their 23 month post (sooo happy I've only got two more of those to do!) but I decided that they were too good to wait.

As I was scrambling one morning a few weeks ago to get out the door for church, I found Lillian like this. Mr. Potato Head glasses on her face, cd of family pictures in one hand (p.s. I've definitely lost weight since then. It's funny what actually being happy with your living arrangements and exercise will do to your waistline) and a blanket in the other. I ran as quick as I could, threw my camera on auto and snapped a picture. Good thing too, because right after I got this, the glasses came off.

 

I'm sad this one is blurry, but it still makes me laugh out loud...

I love the messy-face, beautiful kids that these little girls are becoming.

Sprinklers

Although we now have grass, the girls won't be able to really play on it until mid-the end of next week, but since they love playing outside, I'm grateful we have neighbors who let the run around in their yards. Last night, the girls played in the city sprinklers. Those are the best ones for kids because they're so big and they shoot so far. Sophie was a bit more apprehensive about it (I'm quickly realizing she isn't as daring as her sister) but Lillian couldn't even wait for me to finish changing her diaper before she ran outside. (Really, she got half way across the neighbor's grass before I could catch her little naked bum). 

Notice her booger hanging from her upper lip... 

 The girls were freeeeezing by the time we took them in, so straight into a hot bath they went.

 It was the perfect summer evening.

A baby and a bride

I'm not sure how I got so lucky, but I honestly had the best roommates and friends in college. I lived with most of the same girls until I got married and we've stayed in really good contact with each other. We've got a roommate blog and facebook group and have semi-regular get togethers. One of my roommates, Hailey, is having a baby boy in a month or so and her best friend and my other roommate, Lacy, is getting married this fall. We decided to have a back-to-back baby and bridal shower for them and it was perfect.

This next one might be my favorite of the night. I love Amanda's "see what I had to live with?" face. 

And I'll have it be known that I tried very hard to turn the party into a dance party, but sadly, I was the only one that danced and... I was laughed at. :)

I honestly don't remember the last time I laughed that hard and laughed that much. I was in tears a couple of times over the course of the night because things were that funny. Even though I only get to see this girls every few months (but a couple of them it had been much, much longer than that) we're the type of people that instantly have things to talk about and laugh over. I didn't get home until almost midnight and it was awesome.

Can't wait to meet this little guy (future son inlaw perhaps?) Hailey, and for your wedding, Lacy! Let's keep getting married and having babies so we have excuses to get together like this more often, alright?

Write

Remember how I said I wanted to start a new blog? Well I did. And so far, just for me. It's a journal. No pictures, no offending people, no reservations, no walking on eggshells that the internet has created. And you know what? I feel like me again. I was a big journal writer growing up. I probably have at least 15. I wrote almost every day and really was able to get things out. For one reason or another, when I got married I stopped. I guess that's because I had Josh around all the time and was able to get everything out to him.

Over the past 3 1/2 years though, I've realized that while talking to Josh is good, I need to write. I've been stuck. I miss talking to paper (or in this case, a screen. I haven't dropped the idea of an actual ink-written journal though). I miss understanding my thoughts in a way that only I can understand them. I miss my mind.

I know I've alluded to things on this blog, but the past few months have been tricky. Some really stressful things have happened to our family. I've wanted to talk to everyone, yet no one. Those few "lucky" (and I use quotes because that adjective is subjective) people that I have talked to are probably sick of me. I'm sick of me. That's why I need to dump it somewhere, but somewhere where  *I* can really learn to understand it.

So, I come back to writing. Writing is my greatest form of therapy, even more so than dance every was (and I'll have you know that I've been doing a lot of dancing in my house lately. I've still *sort of* got it...). Writing allows me to tap into my mind. Into my soul. Into my fears, wishes, desires and hopes. I've only written a couple entries so far, but it's done me a world of good and I can see the world more clearly.

If you've got something(s) on your mind, write it down. Think it out. Get it out. Publish it for all to see or write it on the back of a receipt, crumble it up and throw it out. Just get it out.

Like I said, I feel like me again. I feel more motivated for self improvement and have thought of several goals and come up with plans on how I want to tackle them. Hopefully, I can channel this 'new me' into being a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend and blogger.

Writing is good. Writing is healthy. I vote that everyone starts writing. 

And that's what I have to say about that.

Year one

A year ago today, we signed the closing papers on our house. I think it's funny how different my life was on that day.

 The babies looked like this 

 

and now they look like this 

(and it's increasingly harder to get a decent picture of them together) 

Josh was still going to work at 3 in the morning. I had no idea that my new best friends were living 50 feet away from us. I had no idea how quickly I would fall in love with our home. It's perfect for us. The area is perfect for us. And I can't wait for the many, many years to come. 

And what's a more perfect way to celebrate a year in your house than putting in sod? It's a little embarrassing that it took us a year to get it in (we were supposed to have it in 3 months after we moved in. Oops...) But it was delivered this morning and in before we know it.

 

It's been a good year. I am so, so happy that we signed those papers a year ago. 

Today

Today was hard. It was one of those days where for a brief, selfish moment, I wished I didn't have twins. The girls were all over the place. Josh got home at 6:30 this morning and both girls were screaming. I was zonked out in bed, so who knows how long they had been up. I have never slept through their morning cries. At the first peep of a baby making noise, I pop out of bed. Not today though, I was beat. 

So I grabbed the girls, took them downstairs and tried to calm them down so Josh could go to bed. They were awful. SO riled up and none of my usual tricks were doing anything. It took almost a half hour of us (and I say 'us' because Josh stayed up to help) to get them settled down. From then, Josh went up to bed and I was left with the terrors. Over the next few hours, they knocked over a bookshelf, broke a bowl, tipped over their highchairs and Lillian was banging Sophie with one of the legs. They almost pulled down our blinds, opened a container of wipes and pulled about half of them out, grabbed poo out of diaper that should have been thrown away and so on and so on.. 

It sucked. They kicked my trash. And all while Josh was trying to sleep. I tried taking them outside, but my allergies only allowed that for about 15 minutes. I tried coloring, stickers. their favorite movies, letting them play with Tupperware that they never get to play with, etc, but they were just too much for me. By noon I decided it was time for an early nap for everyone. I gave the girls some milk, a few treats and stuck them in their cribs with a books and toys. I laid down and miraculously slept until 2! It was amazing! The rest of our afternoon was a bit better, but the girls were still giving me a run for my money. 

Anyway, I didn't intend to write that all out. I was going to stick with a "the girls were hard today" and leave it at that. Oops. Guess I needed to vent... but the real reason for this post is what I learned tonight. 

These babies have zero ability to hold a grudge. I lost my temper with them a few times today and was more harsh than I should have been. I didn't do anything over the top, but I was not patient at all. And the girls were mean to each other. Hitting, stealing toys, knocking each other over, etc. You'd think that at the end of the day, they'd be a little less inclined to run up and give me kisses. A little less likely to hold their sister's hand. Nope. That didn't happen at all. When I told them, "girls! It's time to go to sleep! Grab your blankets!" Sophie ran to grab Lillian's first. She gave her sister her blanket before she got her own. And then, they folded their arms while I was saying our prayer without being asked. And after that, they jumped up and gave each other a hug. Then they came over to me and did the same. Lillian found a binky for Sophie and tickled her toes and I laid her down in her crib. Then she waved and said, "bye!" as she shut Sophie's door. Lillian then grabbed her Elmo, threw him in her crib and patiently waited for me to stick her in. I did and as she started sucking on her blanket her cute little hand started waving. 

I love them. They are so good. They are forgiving. They are so kind. They are becoming best friends who are concerned about each other and wanting to be "ni" (nice) to their sister. They've taught me so much and it's amazing how horrible my attitude was this morning. They were pretty rotten, but they definitely made up for it. 

I'm so lucky to have them and I need to stop forgetting that. 

A few things

I have been a terrible blogger lately. I hope you accept my semi-sincere apologies.

Here's what we've been up to...

Spending an unhealthy amount of time on Pinterest. 

Watching So You Think You Can Dance?. The girls love it and dance around in front of the television whenever it's on.

 (And I was super excited to see a few old dance company friends on the SLC auditions. Ah... I miss it)

Not shopping at WalMart

 (One month and counting as of today. This is a lifetime commitment, folks. I've loved it so far.)

Not returning phone calls. Chances are if you've left me a message, I haven't returned it. 

Yes, I suck. Please forgive me. 

(That means you, A and M and S...) 

Being amazed that in 5 days it will be the anniversary of this happening. 

 I kind of want to have a party. Is that weird? Probably.

Spending waaaaay too many lazy mornings with my favorite two little girls. 

Thinking about the future and being slightly terrified of it. 

Deciding that I maybe-might-sort of-kind of take a small break from school.

Listening to this song over and over again. I can't get over Bon Iver's amazing beautiful, slightly uncomfortable, haunting, addicting voice in this song.

 Ugh. It's just beautiful. 

Becoming less and less politically opinionated. I just don't care anymore. I'm over it. 

Dealing with the worst allergy flair up I've ever had. I've been drugged up with a rice pack on my face for a good chunk of the week. Yuck. 

 Vacuuming every day since Tuesday. Why you ask? Because we got a Dyson and it's changed my life. I love it and don't think I could ever settle for a cheap vacuum again. Luckily, we got a killer deal on ours so it technically was a 'cheap' one. 

Looking at beautiful photographers' work and wishing I were better. 

Making dinner 3 times last week (at least I think that was last week...) That never happens. It certainly didn't happen this week. I really really want to get into the habit of it though because every month I go over our spending and have to scrape my jaw off the ground at the $$$$$$$ that we spend on eating out. (Ok, it's not quite that many $'s, but it's a lot and it's ridiculous.)

Falling in love with parts of Josh that I never knew existed. It's amazing to me that we've been best friends for almost 5 years and there are still conversations and past memories that we haven't shared.

Playing outside a lot and eating a lot of "posculls" as the girls would say.

Speaking of outside, guess who's getting grass in the next few days?! I'm SO excited to have a yard of our own after 6 years of not really having one. Really, I haven't been this excited in a while. 

And as far as pictures go... 

Our new vacuum! And here's how much junk it got off the space JUST in front of the couch! Incredible, right? I emptied it at least 4 more times doing the rest of the house.

Hanging out with the girls in bed

And a couple of them outside

It's shaping up to be a pretty good summer.

22

I won't lie. When I had a friend remind me about this post a week or so ago, I wanted to scream. Not that she reminded me, but these posts take soooo much work. Luckily, I took her suggestion and have been slowly working on it here and there since then. Hopefully, someday the girls will treasure these posts, because they're who I do them for. Anyway, here's their month post #22. 

Sophie

This girl is a trickster. Spend 10 minutes with her and you'll know what I mean. I call her a "little stinker" all the time because that's what she is...a little stink. She knows what she's not supposed to do and she does it anyway when she thinks she won't get caught. Take for example the other morning when she climbed on our computer desk ever so quietly, hoping I wouldn't see her. When I did, probably 3 seconds after she got up on the desk, she simply covered her eyes. When I said her name, she said gave me a "no, no, no" while keeping her eyes covered. See? A little stinker.

Sophie is hilarious. Her latest thing is fake snoring. She's been doing this for a few months now, but it's REALLY been happening a lot lately. Mostly, she loves snoring in our bed under our covers. She'll be downstairs, start snoring, dash upstairs, climb into our bed and get under the covers. All while snoring. We also have some word/picture flashcards from our trip and one of them has a blanket on it. Whenever she sees it, what does she start doing? Snoring. She did it at church a few weeks back and it was hysterical. I just love her. 

She is obsessed with toes. Like WAY more than I feel is normal. A few days ago, she had a massive meltdown because her chocolate chips were gone. I'm talking rolling on the floor, kicking the cabinets, and clenching her teeth. All of the sudden, she spotted my toes and in her sad little voice she said, "toe-o". She was incidentally happy. And sometimes, when she's walking, she'll take 3 steps, lift her foot in the air and say it, put it down, walk a little bit more and pop her foot back up again. She also gets excited to find all of the toes on her stuffed animals. Her favorite one to point out are the 'toes' on their Cookie Monster stuffed animal. I like it too because hearing, "cookie toe-o!" is pretty adorable. 

Sophie is quite a little parrot. She will repeat just about anything. She often repeats the last word in the sentence. I would list all of her words, but I know I'd miss most of them. I'd say that she regularly says 15-20ish words, but like I said, she'll repeat anything (that is, if she's in a happy mood...) She's definitely a chatterbox! 

Lillian 

 

 

Lillian is such a cheeser. She's got the cheesiest grin, the cheesiest giggle, the cheesiest kisses... She's just cheesy. She's a flirt. She knows she's cute.  And I love it. 

Lillian is smart. She knows how to distract Sophie to get what she wants. If Sophie has a book she wants to read, she'll go find a binky, make sure Sophie sees it, and put it down and while Sophie chases after it, she goes and grabs the book. She does stuff like this all the time. Smart girl, that one. 

Sometimes I think Lillian acts more like the big sister. Actually, most of the time I think she does. Her emotions usually set the course for both of them (usually, not always though) and she's the one who usually comes up with the ideas. She's the one who usually asks for milk first, etc, etc. Sometimes Sophie is the leader, but lately Lillian has been taking the reign. It's been fun to see them switch rolls back and forth so much. 

Lillian can say everything that Sophie can and she repeats things just like her sister, but it's usually in a whisper. It's hilarious. I'll say, "Can you say cat?" and Sophie will yell "CAT!" Lillian? 'cat' I was getting gas a few days ago and I had a friend in the car with me. She was having the girls say various words and she said every single time Lillian would whisper them. You have to really watch her mouth to make sure she repeats whatever you're saying, but she always does. 

 

And both of them

 

 

 

These girls are smart. They understand nearly everything I tell them. They can help pick up their toys, they know what they need to grab when I say, "it's time for your nap!". They help buckle themselves into the car. They're finally 'getting it'. It's such a good feeling to have your kids reach that stage of slight independence. Like the other day when I got some sock for Lillian and asked her to get them on. What did she do? She unrolled them and put them on all by herself. I love it!

They're constantly by each others side. They hold hands, scratch each others back, get things for each other, etc. They love their sister and I literally thank God every day that they came together. They are such a team. 

We still aren't really sleeping through the night and it's really wearing on me. I'd say at least 4 nights a week, someone wakes up. We've tried oils, routines, and many other things that have been recommended to us, but we haven't found anything to stick yet. Here's to hoping they figure it out soon... 

These girls are giggly, playful, exhausting, hilarious, forgiving, and wonderful. We love them. I can't believe it's been almost two years since they joined our family. What a crazy two years it's been. This past month has been especially hard for our family and I've been that much more grateful for their giggles and kisses. 

It's been a wild ride with these two and like I always say, we've loved almost every minute of it.