Here's the thing. I've been a bit under the weather the past couple of weeks and it's left little to no motivation to do anything. Laundry is backed up, the dishes are disgusting, and my house is dirty. And the kicker? I don't even care. I do feel bad because I have good intentions of getting my act together every day by the time Josh gets home, but it hasn't happened yet. Did I shower yesterday? Nope. Did I stay in sweatpants all day long? Most certainly. Are my sweatpants 7 sizes too big? Yoooou betcha! Yesterday was also one of those days where I really questioned my ability and desire for more children. My girls kicked my sweatpants wearing trash yesterday. I'm pretty sure there wasn't more than 10 minutes in the entire day when both of them were happy. A few minutes before we put them to bed, I looked at Josh and said, "It's a good thing we got two kids at once because it's days like this when I think two is all I want'." He laughed and agreed. Don't worry, things aren't that bad and eventually more Mangel-babies will come along, but for now, Baby A and Baby B are enough. Josh also starts a new shift at work next week, which is seriously giving me panic attacks. He's going to be gone a lot and gone for crazy ridiculous hours. I'm trying really, really, really hard to be grateful because I realize how lucky we are to be in the situation we're in. Many of my mom friends simply can't stay at home in this economy. There are thousands (maybe even millions) of people through out the country who would happily take Josh's job, crappy shift and all. But did I mention that he has to work a 12 hour shift next Christmas Eve and Christmas. Don't worry, I've already cried about that probably 3 times. But again, I'm trying my best to not be a brat about it.
So you see, all of this is why my blog has been so blah for a while. I'm very unsatisfied with it and something needs to change. I've decided that the past 16 months have been all about my girls, which is only natural I guess. But somewhere along the way, I've make the rookie new mom mistake. I've sort of forgotten myself. It's weird to me to look back at posts from 2009 and see that I was a person before these girls. Of course I know that, but it's easy to get wrapped up in the mommy roll when that's all you do. I feel naked without my girls by my side and thus they never (or hardly ever) leave me. I need a break, just a little outlet. I sort of want this blog to have a little more *me* in it. Selfish? Probably. Especially since only about 4 people read this thing before I had the babies. I don't think my own mother read it until I was pregnant. (Love ya, mom!) Many of my readers (it feels weird saying that by the way) are moms of twins, moms I've gotten to know from babycenter, and moms who I've actually met through this blog. So it feels odd to have a subject switch, but I need it desperately. Ok, that was dramatic...but seriously...
So, that was an extremely long explanation basically saying that I'm going to be blogging about my girls less. They'll still be around because let's face it, they're pretty fantastic, but I miss blogging about random stuff. I generally have a lot of things to say and this blog started as an outlet for that. I have done little to none of that over the past year. I need to stop wallowing in my overwhelmedness (yes, I made that word up) and need to use this blog in different ways.
And guess what? There's an iPod touch sitting in Kentucky with my name on it that will get one step closer to my house today. Do you know what that means? Istagram. And I've been Pinning a lot lately so maybe I'll blog about that. Or maybe about the crazy situations I find myself in all the time at the grocery store. Or maybe about how I can't wait until February is here because The Walking Dead will continue which means we'll be upping our Dish package which means I'll get OWN for a few months. Or how I've been studying middle school and high school math for over a month now in hopes of testing into Stats this summer. Or how...see? I have a lot to say. :)
For now though, I'll leave you with a Flashback Friday picture(s). We had a little roommate reunion a couple of days ago and 4 out of 7 were able to make it. Here's us then...
One of these days we'll get a picture of the 5 husbands and 4 children along with the 7 roommates, but when you span from Canada to Utah County it gets a little tricky.
How was that for a random post?
Happy Friday and Happy New Year's Eve Eve!!
