At the risk of sounding dramatic

This week has been rotten. Absolutely rotten. And it doesn't look like it's going to get better any time soon. But I'm trying to count my blessings and see the positives in my life. 

Like my great, supportive husband. And my great family (especially feeling grateful for my dad these past few days). And my great friends. And my integrity. And my great kids.

These girls seem to know when mom is feeling down and the pull out their crazy antics. 

 

Sophie found one of my old headbands, put it on and started dancing.
Future D.Co president for sure.

I really do have the best little girls out there. They make me laugh even when all I want to do is cry and feel sorry for myself.

Here's to hoping next week is better. I'm really, really hoping. 

Cry baby

These babies did not handle their latest round of shots very well. Not at all. Sophie has had a fever since Tuesday and she won't let me put her down. She's currently lethargic on my lap wining because I'm pretty sure she wants to watch Elmo videos on youtube. Lillian took to them a little better, but because Sophie is on edge, so is she. I'm not going to lie, this week has sucked. I'm pretty sure I haven't seen Sophie smile since Monday and truthfully, I'm getting a little worried. She's been drugged up, had no appetite and is the clingiest baby ever. She's also slept like a rock. Thursday night, she slept for 12 1/2 hours. That's insane. Their longest stretch has only been about 10 hours, and then they'll only take one nap. On Thursday, she not only slept that long at night, but then took a 3 hour nap just a few hours later. It would be awesome if she wasn't miserable and if I didn't have another child who never sleeps that well. Their naps schedules are no longer synced, so I've pretty much always had a baby awake. I'm over it. In fact, I'm so over it that I had an absolute meltdown in the Smith's parking lot last night. Both babies were screaming in their car seats and I lost it. Josh sat patiently in the car until we all calmed down. Turns out the babies never calmed down, so we went in anyway. At least one of us is trying to be a big girl... :)

This experience has made me want to learn a little more about vaccines. I've been sent several links from a few people and truthfully there's some scary stuff that we inject into our kids. I think after all is said and done, I'm pretty sure we'll be a delaying/selective vaccinating family.

So needless to say, I haven't taken a single picture this week. I was however, looking through older pictures of the babies and I stumbled across this goody.

 

I laughed and laughed and laughed last night when I found it. 

Bottom line-

These babies are adorable even if they cry all the time.

And just in case you're wondering what Elmo videos we've been watching... I'm pretty sure we're responsible for at least 100,000 of this one's views. In fact, when I was singing it to the girls last night, Josh corrected me on my quakes. Apparently I was singing it wrong. :)

What can I say? It's been a long week.

Missing

*I wrote this post back in April. I never published it because it made me sad. However, I must say that although I still miss Logan, where we live now is a really, really good substitute. I absolutely love it. It's got the same feeling as Logan did. It's got a ton of Logan transplants (aka fellow USU alum). The people are friendly and it feels like home. I'm not sure why I'm publishing it now, but... here ya go.


Sometimes I miss

the place where I fell in love with Josh

the place where I met some of my best friends

the place where I got my education

the place where scraping a foot and a half of snow off your car every morning was no big deal

the place where everyone is an Aggie fan

the place that feels like a small town, but there's just enough to do

the place that has the yummiest sno cones in the world

the place where I stayed up all night with roommates talking about the future

the place where I could see this awesome lady

the place where I really gained my testimony

the place where I had the greatest {paid} job I've ever had

the place where I had my first home with Josh

the place that has the yummiest pizza and salad

the place where I had my first adult calling in church

the place where I first felt that people took me seriously

the place where I found I was going to be a mother

the place where I became a mother

the place where my daughters were kept alive and safe

the place where I really figured out who I was

the place where I could listen to country music and fit in

the place that has the coolest laundromat ever

the place where you can get fresh Aggie ice cream and milk that doesn't need to be refrigerated 

Sometimes I miss that place. Sometimes I miss Logan, Utah. This is one of those times. I knew this was coming. I predicted it. Although I'm very excited for our new home (which is pretty much finished! Final walk through is tomorrow!), I think I'll always miss Logan. 

Always.

*Speaking of Logan and school. I'm still not sure if I can go back to school this semester. I'm calling my advisor today to see if there's anything I can take this semsester. I might have to wait until January though, but ya know what? I haven't taken a semester off since I started college in 2006, so I'd be ok if I 'had' to. I guess I'll know soon enough!*

Change is hard.

Here's the thing. I don't like change. Not even a little bit. I've been pretty quiet about my feelings relating to our October move, because I know I shouldn't complain and I know I should be grateful for the opportunities we've had, but the truth is that sometimes I REALLY want to go back to Logan. I miss brasc. I miss USU. I miss our old ward. I miss brasc. I miss Fredrico's. I miss the tiny mall. I miss recognizing somewhere almost everywhere I go. I miss brasc. I miss the girls' old pediatrician. I miss brasc (have I said that enough?).

As much as I love the Salt Lake valley and as much as I'm used to living here, sometimes I really, really do miss Logan. Mostly I miss BRASC. I miss my co-workers and I really miss the participants. I watched Up Syndrome the other day and it left me longing for my buds at the work-site (if you work at brasc, you should know who I'm quoting..) Last night, we drove by the emergency room and I saw the life-flight helicopter and thought of a particular friend. (Again, you should know who I'm talking about. Oddly enough, it's the same person.) Anytime I see pepper jack cheese, flip through the tv and see Barney or catch myself saying "chill the lill" to one of the girls, I miss it.

I recently got a new phone and after several days of trying to get it activated, I'm ready to transfer all my contacts over from my old phone. I'm too scared to do it though. Why? Because I know there are dozens of numbers I simply don't need anymore. Numbers of parents and staff that I'll never need to call. Numbers of old visiting teachers that are useless. Numbers of class members that I'll never meet up with for another project.

Stupid, right? Why can't I just delete these numbers and be ok with it? I haven't been to class since last May (ok, I'll admit, not erasing those numbers is just laziness) and I haven't worked since July.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

At least someone else admits that change is hard.



And I don't want to be a total Debbie Downer today, so here's a few pictures of my beautiful baby girls. Oh, and we started solids on their half birthday.
That post is almost done and will be published shortly.





I've been looking at a lot of photography with muted colors lately, so I thought I'd edit some accordingly. I kinda like it... a lot.

So so sad.

This had me in tears this morning. It had me in tears again as I watched the news at noon. I wish I could count the times and memories I have had in this building. My mom sings in a local choir and I grew up going to multiple concerts here each year. Every single stake conference until college was held here. My little sister learned to crawl up stairs the first time in this building (did you know that, Kels?). I used to fall asleep on my dad's lap on these benches. I used to race my siblings down the stairs. Seriously, I am devastated. I've always been a very sentimental person, but I had no idea the love I could feel for a building. Honestly, when I first heard the news I thought I was going to throw up. I feel like such a boob, but I can't help it. SO many childhood memories just went up in flames.


Excuse me while I go cry some more.

p.s. I don't want you to harp on the sad news. Look at the post of the babies below. You will be happy again.

Speechless

This is the sad, messed up, scary, and just wrong. I guess it's good he's not the dad, but still...

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My kids are going to be so messed up because they will have no friends of the opposite sex. Or the same sex for that matter. I'm terrified.

I woke up to snow...

this morning and I almost started to cry. To soothe myself I went down and checked facebook on our new couches. Pictures coming soon. I also showed up to work 40 minutes early so I turned back around and now I'm blogging on our new red couches. Time to go eat lunch and then back to work. I hate hate hate this weather.

Accident Prone...

I'm not sure why, but lately I have been super accident prone. I've never been that way before, but this week has been awful! A few days ago I smacked my head really hard on the door leaving a big bump on my forehead (I'm just glad it didn't bruise...), and last night I sliced my thumb with a chili can. That's not counting the millions of times I've tripped going up the stairs, or stubbed my toes etc... The chili incident was by far the worst and we thought for a minute I might need stitches. I was an idiot and for some reason, as I was throwing away the can I picked it up by the barely attached lid. All of the sudden I yelled a loud, "Shooooooot!" I looked down and my thumb was already bright red. It was a deep, yucky cut. We didn't have any band-aids so until we finished our dinner and made it to the store we improvised with cotton and masking tape (yes, slightly ghetto). I should have taken pictures of the actual cut, but it was too gross for a blog. It hurt like the dickens! Today it still throbs a bit, but luckily with a little super glue (a Larry Herdman fix-all solution) and a couple of band-aids the healing process is underway. Now I just have to stop running into things....

The only thing happy about this picture is my new hair cut/color! It's a pretty good view of our homemade band-aid.

The dreaded Chili can.