Last night, a few awesome circumstances lead me to this song. Now, I consider myself a decently big Bon Iver fan. I've seen him in concert and had this song as my ringtone for over a year. However, for some reason (warning: it's about to get real sappy up in here) this cover really spoke to me. It's absolutely beautiful.

 Wanna know what I did? I moved our kitchen table and choreographed a little dance to part of it and then I played it over and over again and danced until I could barely breathe. It was honestly the best thing I've done for me in...years?  I started dancing at age 3 and although I've never been SYTYCD good, I've held my own on dance companies and choreographed a dance that got an award (is it pathetic that I can't remember what award?) at UVSC when I was in high school.

Some people love running, others love sewing. I love dancing. I debated if I should try to find some dance class or something I could do, but I don't have a clue where I would fit. I can still stick a triple pirouette (well, sometimes), yet I can hardly touch my toes anymore. And I don't like the flashy, jazz hands dancing. I'm more of a therapeutic Mia Michaels kind of gal.

And then I found this video. She has her dancers recall a time when they would shut themselves in their room, turn on music and just go. I did that aaaaaallll the time growing up and I will continue to do it. Except I'll be in my kitchen and it will be when the husband is at work and after the kids are asleep. Free from judgement, ya know? ;)

Really though, I was in tears after watching this. Even if you're not a dancer by any stretch of the imagination, it's still pretty amazing.

I just love dancing and miss it constantly. I hate that it's something you just kind of stop doing, you know? If you love cooking, you can always cook. If you love photography, there are always pictures to be taken. If you love reading, the world is full of books. But dance? It's a little harder to just 'do'. That is, unless I can convince Josh to turn our basement into a dance studio...I wish! ;)

For now, I'm grateful I have enough space in my kitchen to do {most} of what I'd like to do with my talents.

Yilly

Did you think I forgot about Lillian? I didn't,  but Josh and I spent most of last week in Las Vegas and I tried really hard to get a Lillian post up before we left, but I failed. Sorry kid for making you an after thought...

 Ms. Lillian Jean is a girl after my own heart. Sometimes I'm shocked at how much she's like me. Nearly everything she does (funny stuff, fits she throws, quirks she has) I did as a kid. She sings, dances, has a hilarious sense of humor, etc. She even sits the way I did as a kid, except when I would sit that way, my grandma would get mad and say I would have "leg damage". Turns out that wasn't true and any damage I have to my body, I can chalk up to 16 years of dance. Anyway, back to Lillian...

She's got the cheesiest smile and she knows it. She really like to mimic facial expressions and I catch her doing it all the time to strangers. One of my favorite things to do with her is make crazy faces back and forth. 

She's got the biggest sweet tooth I've ever seen. It's waaaaay worse than Sophie. If there is a speck of sugar around, Lillian wants it. She'll never turn down candy, ice cream, honey, or straight sugar. I've realized I have to be really, really careful with this kid because she'll swipe Sophie's treats SO fast if I'm not looking. 

She's really smart. She know most of her colors and is learning more letters each day. She loves reading and is quite the wiz on the iPad. That little gadget is teaching them far more than I realized it would. She loves it!

She sings. Oh does she sing. Her favorite movies are currently (and hopefully permanently) Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music (although she won't believe me that Mary and Maria are the same person...). She sings along with both movies and will sing "spoon a sugar helps a medicine go down" quietly to herself when she colors or plays with blocks. It's my favorite. 

She's recently figured out that Josh's name is Josh. It's kind of hilarious... She sometimes calls me "Brinny".

She's a stinker. I've always got to keep my eye on her because she can push her big (although she's really little) sister around like it's nothing. If there's a fight, she's mostly likely the one who started it. She's also really smart in the art of distraction. If it's time for a nap or bed, she's usually able to do something to postpone it a few minutes. Whether that's putting on a dance concert, making a huge mess, or deciding to finally play nice with Sophie, she usually gets what she set out to accomplish.

She loves to play pretend and has a huge imagination. Her dinosaurs go to the park, to grandma's and church, while her teddy bears go to the doctor, take naps and go swimming.

Lillian has such a big personality and she's the perfect compliment to Sophie. These two are opposite in just about every way, but they complete each other so well. Lillian, I was terrified when I learned that you were joining our family so soon, but we're sure glad you're here.

Fo-see

It's been a while since I've done any sort of update on these kids. So, let's start with the eldest, shall we?

Sophie is turning into quite the talker. She's definitely in the 'repeat everything she hears' phase and that's gotten us into trouble a time or two (like the time Josh almost drove on the wrong side of the road, or how she's now started asking for Josh by name in the morning...) but it's mostly funny and I think it's something that every kids goes through. 

She's obsessed with taking baths. When I ask them if they want to take a bath, she usually squeals in excitement, drops everything and runs upstairs. Lillian usually gets tired of playing in the water after a half hour or so, but not Sophie. That kids could play in there for over an hour if I let her. She usually "cooks" something in the bath which involves pouring water from different cups, mixing with spoons and then sipping it with the proud exclamation, "Oooooo YUMMY!"

She's finally given up the binky, but as you noticed in my last post, she's found a few interesting substitutes. I'm not sure what to do about that...just let it be? Take away all of the Mr. Potato Head toys? Who uses angry eyes for a binky? My kid, apparently!

She's sooooooo stubborn. Oh goodness is she stubborn! Just this morning, she tried to push Lillian down the stairs and I took away her blanket and wouldn't give it back until she said sorry/gave her sister a high five (I've found that hugs usually cause more problems than they're worth) and she refused for a FULL 20 minutes. She wasn't in huge meltdown mode, just this snarky "NO" attitude with lots of glares. I'm terrified for her preteen/teen age years...

On the same lines of being stubborn, I'm pretty sure this girl knows her colors, she just lets me know that everything is pink because she knows it gets to me. Luckily, she has a mother that's just as stubborn and persistent, so we'll get there some day, I guess. 

 

She's got the most contagious laugh. The other day we were at church and she started laughing hysterically because the books she was reading to herself was that funny. The families in front, behind and to the side of us were all chuckling. I was a little embarrassed, but at the same time, I thought it was pretty awesome. 

This kid is the master of the iPad/iPhone. We have mostly educational apps and she knows how to navigate her way through almost all of them. 

Sophie makes me laugh constantly. She does things because she knows it'll get a laugh out of people and several times a day I think, "where did this personality come from???" but then I remember how *I* was as a kid and it all makes sense. ;) 

Let's forget about it, alright?

The past week, that is. 

I try really hard not to be annoying on the internet. You know, that facebook friend that's always saying something like, "OMG! This sux! He never called be back and my life is ooooooooover. :'( " I try hard not to complain, but you guys... last week sucked in basically every possible way. It included (to name just a few things) sickness (times 4) that's too disgusting to type, me slicing my finger open with a knife, our first try at letting the twins "cry it out",  and me getting yelled at by some stranger at the grocery store after Lillian threw (and shattered) a gallon of milk out of our cart.

 You guys, last week was terrible!

I think I took a literal one picture with my DSLR however, I've been especially grateful for my phone these last few weeks (because have I mentioned that we've been sick for literally 5 weeks now?????) because it's lets me capture some pretty great moments that would otherwise go undocumented. 

Playing doctor, complete with Rambo headbands. 

For the girls (women? what do you call females in their 20's?) in my neighborhood who were apart of the "cropping the mess out of pictures" discussion the other day....yeah, this is one of those. Hahaha! 

 This is that moment when you go out to dinner with your roommates and you realize that you and Lacy have the exact same manicure. Old, chipped Essie Merino Cool. Yeah, it was fate that we became friends.

 One of our only "nobody is throwing up" days this month. Also, ferris wheels scare the crap out of me. 

 

Sophie's solution to the fact that binkies are nowhere to be found at our house. Mr. Potato Head's nose. 

 And when she couldn't find his nose, she settled on his angry eyes.

Don't worry, an updated sleeping post is coming up soon. Aren't you excited? Ha!

 Josh serenading his sick wife on Valentine's Day.

But we're alive and although the man of the house is now in the middle of what the girls and I had last week, I'm hopeful that it should pass soon. It better pass soon, because we have a really, really fun week planned and if I have to drag Josh's sick butt around, I will. Ok, I won't but I really am looking forward to this week, so here's to better health!!

Sleeping arrangement update

First off, thanks for all of the suggestions I got! After I posted yesterday's post, I cleared out our second bedroom, put the twin mattresses back onto the beds and stuck the crib mattresses on the floor. Lillian was quite miserable yesterday and I didn't want Sophie to keep her from napping, so I decided to split them up. Sophie went on the crib mattress and Lillian slept in her big girl bed. They were out almost instantly! And not only that, but they slept 2 1/2 hours. The best they've napped in probably 4 or 5 months. 

It was a miracle, I tell ya. Between their naps and bed time, we had a hard time with Lillian. Her stomach was not feeling super great (Hailey and Lacy, I originally had "super fly" typed out...probably should have kept it...) and several very, very, very horrifyingly messy diapers, she was back to her old self. 

Once bed time rolled around, we did our usual routine. Except I tried to stick Sophie back on the crib mattress and Lillian back in her bed. 

The girls would have none of that. They both instantly burst into tears, begging for their sister. I told them it was time to go to sleep and they'd see their sister in the morning, but they didn't stop. They both got out of bed and started kicking their doors. 

I didn't know what to do. Josh worked a grave shift last night, so I was on my own. I knew there was no way I could tackle both of them in two different rooms, so I instantly gave up. I led Lillian into the room with Sophie and they jumped around and played {in the empty room} for about 40 minutes before they crashed. 

So it sort of worked? Oh and did I mention that they can reach the light switch so it's constantly going on? I instagrammed a picture of my temporary solution a few weeks back, but it's sort of turned into a permanent solution. 

 

I know I need to come up with something better (like actually teaching them to not turn it off??) but how? Every time I've tried it's turned into a game (just like putting them back in bed has) So for now, tape it is. Ghetto, right? It matches the door knob free closet quite well. :(

Oh man, I feel like I'm having a "mommy confession" session of sorts with these last few posts.

They've just been so, so tired lately!!

Hopefully having both rooms available and essentially empty fixes the problem.

{Insert vent here}

A few days ago, someone asked me when we thought we would have another baby. I replied with, "When my girls start sleeping through the night?"
I think she thought I was kidding. 
I was not.

If you've known or followed me since the beginning of my girls' lives, you know that they've never been awesome sleepers. I've written about it before, but the truth is that it's never really gotten better. I'm usually up with one of them at least one a night (last night it was 3 times with Lillian and once with Sophie. Lilly gets a pass though because she's currently sick...) We've had the girls in big girl beds since July because that's when they started climbing out of their crib. I said on facebook that day that my "life was over" and I was accused of being dramatic. Well guess what? 6 months later and they still don't sleep well in their beds. Bed time is a battle every single night. 

We've got a pretty good routine down. We usually have pretty relaxed evening and then around 7:30 I start getting them ready for bed. We get into jammies, read a story or two, brush teeth, get a drink of water, grab our favorite stuffed animal and blanket and then we're off to bed. This is where the fun begins. The girls lay down, we sing a few songs, say a prayer, but when I leave? They go wild. The jump from one bed to the other, they break into the closet, they pull on the blinds, they pull the clothes out of their drawers, and then stomp around in the drawers on their beds (we've got twin storage beds and I ended up duct taping the drawers shut, but they figured that out) I ended up taking the doorknobs off their closet and we moved the dresser into the other room. They've put dents in walls, completely broken the blinds in their room and probably 3 times a week, Sophie takes off her diaper and pees/poops everywhere. And did I mention that they can move their TWIN SIZE mattresses? Like completely take them off their bed and move them around the room. They climb under them and get stuck and I'm terrified of suffocation.

Sounds awesome, right? 

Now, before you peg me as a terrible mother, I feel like I've tried everything. I've fiddled around with nap time (but as of recent, they've basically given up napping all together), pushed bed time earlier, I've tried to stay in their room until they fall asleep. It's never worked. A few weeks ago I was in their for almost TWO hours. Every time they would get out of bed, I'd put them back in. They thought it was hilarious and I literally cried myself to sleep while they were screaming and kicking the door. I've tried letting them have music to fall asleep to. That's helped a little, but it hasn't really solved anything. I've tried taking away blankets, pillows and stuffed animals, I taped the drawers shut, I've cut back on sugar, I've rewarded the twin that actually stays in bed, I've tried to take them out more to wear them out, we've done more structured activities during the day, we've tried baths right before bed, etc, etc. I've read books, I've read blogs, I've asked babycenter, I've prayed about it. 

I think this whole time the answer has been staring me in the face. We have an extra bedroom that's sort of become the dumping ground for crap. Ok, not crap per say, but the crib mattresses, toys that I rotate through, our pack and play, old baby gear, a picnic table that goes outside when it's warm and their dresser. I've been moving out/finding a spot for all of those things to completely clear out that room. Once that's done, it will be the twins' new room. Crib mattresses on the floor, two pillows, two blankets, two stuffed animals. That's IT. No dresser, no access to the closet, no drawers to pull out from under the bed, nothing but a little mattress on the floor.

This is initially what we did after we took down the cribs, but we felt a little bad for having them sleep on the floor. They would play and bounce around a little bit, but it was nothing like it is now. I figure if this doesn't work, one kid will end up on a crib mattress on the floor and the other will be in the big girl bed in the other room. Or in other words, SOPHIE will be on the crib mattress and Lillian will get the big bed. Why? Because it's always Sophie that gets Lillian riled up. It's Sophie that figured out how to open the closet. It's Sophie who (I'm 99% positive) had the idea to move the huge mattresses. 

So that's where we're at. I bet you all think I'm crazy and you're right. I'm going crazy. Remember how it took my girls 9 months to sleep through the night? And remember how I kid myself that they're sleeping through the night now? 

The girls have been alive for 917 nights and we've probably woken up in the middle of 793 of them. 

I'm tired.

Hopefully, we have more of these moments in our future soon.

  

I was definitely not being dramatic on the day they started climbing out of their cribs. :/

A day with dad

Josh has had the last few days off and we've been really taking advantage of it. On Monday, we neglected housework and instead went to IKEA for breakfast and then to the dinosaur museum. The girls had a blast and I literally almost took 200 pictures. Here's a samplin' of them.

The girls have been asking to go back ever since we left. Good thing we bought a year pass, so we'll be going back lots and lots. Yay for getting out of the house and feeling slightly less sick!