I steal babies at Wal-Mart

Now, you may be wondering to yourself what the meaning of this title could be. It's just like it sounds. I steal babies at Wal-Mart. Or at least that's the kind of person I was told I was while there yesterday. Let me explain...

Yesterday morning I was looking in the craft section of Wal-Mart for some paint to beautify a picture frame I recently bought. It was early in the morning which means I was pre-shower and was quite a sight to see. I was deciding on which shade of brown to purchase, when all of the sudden a small baby come crawling towards me. I looked down to see this little hispanic boy (probably around a year old) reach up to me. Looking around, I saw no sign of a mother and since I didn't want to leave the child in the middle of Wal-Mart by himself, I picked him up. The kid was fine and I went on a frantic search for his mother. I went to the end of the aisle and peered in the next aisle over. A short hispanic woman caught my eye and she stormed towards me as fast as she could SCREAMING in Spanish. Now, this is the part of the story where I wish Josh would have been with me because for the next few minutes the lady proceeded to draw quite the crowd with her loud latin hate. I, (for those of you who don't know me) tend to panic in situations like this, and by panic I mean cry. I was holding back the tears as I pathetically tried to explain myself in English. I debated if I should just run away or not, but then I had visions of security guards dog piling me during my escape. This woman wouldn't calm down. By this time her baby was crying and there were about 10 people just staring at us. Luckily, a man finally piped in and tried to talk to the frantic woman. He translated my story for her, but she called me a liar and a horrible person. She (still screaming) said I took her baby when she wasn't looking and that I was going to run away with him. Now, at this point it almost got comical (it would have been if there now weren't two WM employees coming over to see what the ruckus was about). Why would I want to kidnap her baby? For my old roommates who read my post on that blog, you know that's probably the last thing I'd want to do right now! I have no desire at all to steal a baby. None. Notta. Zip. Plus, if I were to steal a baby, don't you think I'd steal one that at least looked like me so I wouldn't have to pretend I adopted? (Don't think I'm psycho, but really that's the route I'd go on if I were to kidnap.)

The story ends very awkwardly. The man got the woman to calm down and she finally left. Her final gift to me was flipping me off and yelling one more time something I couldn't understand. After she left I was still standing there with the bystandards and the WM folks. People asked if I was OK, but I just wanted scram STAT. I'd had enough. It was too early for my mind to really process it, and it wasn't until I was on the phone with Fro a few hours later that I was able to see the humor in the story. It is pretty hilarious when you think about it. So, now i know if I see a baby all alone in a store I will walk away and let the kid fend for himself. Who cares if there are scary people out there. Being a good citizen apparently doesn't get you anywhere in life except yelled at in a strange language. (I hope you can sense the sarcasm) What it really boils down to is that I'm not ever going to Wal-Mart without my Spanish speaking husband.

:)