Sophie will one day kill me for this post

Remember when I said that I didn't want this blog to necessarily be taken over by the babies? Or that I wasn't going to post super embarrassing stuff about them? Well, I lied. Here's a little story about my sweet Sophie.

Early this morning, at approximately 4 am, I was changing Sophie's diaper. Both girls were fed and Lillian was changed, so there were only about 3 minutes until my head could hit the pillow. All of the sudden, I lifted her to put on the clean diaper when....EXPLOSIVE poo. I'm not talking about a slight drizzle or anything, I mean EXPLOSIVE. It got all over me (on my clothes and face), the wall (which was a good 2 feet away at least), the dresser, changing pad, trash can, clean onesies that needed to be put away, and the carpet. It was nasty. What did I do? I wiped up the dresser and changing pad, changed my clothes and left the rest of it to clean later. Judge me if you will, but I think last night I was officially initiated in mommyhood. I had been up for well over an hour by this point and thought, "a little poop never hurt a wall." I was right. We all finally fell asleep and the poopy mess was still there in the morning.

So my new mantra is this:

A little poop never hurt a wall.

Hopefully tonight is less exciting.

Confession

When Don't Speak came out, I thought the chorus said, "don't tell my cousin Bert" instead of "don't tell me 'cause it hurts."
What a silly mix up.


p.s. who remembers that nasty peach being at the beginning of the video? I don't. Disgusting.
p.p.s. Sophie and Lillian are 3 weeks old! HOW has that happened? Don't worry, they may be 3 weeks, but they're still tiny (even though I think they're huge) but they're maybe 6 lbs now. And that's a maybe. Last time they were weighed, Lilly was 5 lbs 11 oz and Sophie was 5 lbs 9 oz. That was just a few days ago. Call them little, but they are huge compared to when they were 4 lbs 11 oz.
My girls are growing up so fast.

Clean Clothes part 2

Remember when Josh and I didn't have a washer and dryer, but we didn't really mind because we went to the COOLEST laundromat ever? Well, lately I've realized how crappy it would be if we still had to go there. I do laundry about every other day and we haven't even pulled out the cloth diapers yet... (although I'm totally stoked for when we can. We just have to wait until the wee ones get to be 6lbs and then we'll be total hippies)

Also, I've noticed something about going out in public with twins. EVERYBODY (well, pretty much) has something to say about them and EVERYBODY wants a peek. We usually put the girls in their stroller and have their car seats covered when we go out. I've decided though to keep it uncovered and just let people stare because it's a lot less awkward that way. Today for example, we were at Sam's club when we ran into one of our old neighbors. Now, we didn't really know this girl (or her husband) when we lived across the parking lot from them and it took a few seconds for me to realize who it was. I was on the phone with my mom so I couldn't stop and chat or anything. The awkward part happened when she tried her hardest to get a glance at the girls and we walked by. I sorta felt like a jerk as we passed her, but it was one of those things where the entire scenario happened in 1.5 seconds and like I said, I didn't recognize her in time. Anyways after that, I decided to 'unveil' the babies and just let people stare. That way, people don't have to be painfully awkward when trying to look at them. They're able to look, gasp, say the first 'twin' comment they can think of, and then go along their merry way. It's quite a nice system.

The most awkward thing though is when people talk about us, but not to us. Example: We were at Smith's yesterday (I think it was yesterday...maybe the day before) and a lady says, "Ooooohhhh look! TWO babies!" I never know whether I should just smile, respond, or continue what I'm doing when I overhear these things, because I know they're not talking to me. This time, I decided to turn around and I noticed that the lady was talking to.....her baby. Yep. She was having a conversation with her infant about mine. It was hilarious. I'm pretty sure I just stared at her as she told her baby how cute they were and how much work they must be. She was standing 4 feet away from me, but chose to talk to her baby instead of me. I thought it was weird. So I just smiled and walked away. Am I a jerk? I really don't know how to respond to people. I'm fine with people coming up to me and asking questions or just wanting to look at them, but it's when people try to be 'sneaky' about it that makes me feel weird. I have twins. I'm not deaf or blind. I can hear your comments and can see you abruptly changing your pathway so it will cross mine so you can get a glimpse as to what's in the two car seats.

Don't think I'm annoyed or bitter, because I'm not. It's just hilariously awkward. I don't know if people want me to respond or not. So like I said, I just usually stare and smile. Sometimes I'll just say, "yep" and walk away. Again, I'm more than happy to talk to people, but when you choose to talk to your 3 month old over me, I'm not going to pursue much of a conversation with you.

And I'll leave you with a picture by the marvelous Amanda McKie...

3 days in the NICU

So, I left off at a pretty traumatizing part of the twins' birth story (stories? I guess they each had their own...). I hadn't really seen them the first 6 hours of their lives and the first time I did see them, I was throwing up and pretty out of it. After I held them for a little bit, I decided I needed to go upstairs and rest. Josh came back and forth giving me updates and I got as much sleep as I could. By 8:00, I was ready to go back and ready to stay a while. I was still wheeled down to the nicu because I was still attached to tubes and iv's, but I didn't care. I wanted to see my girls. I was able to hold each of them for a lot longer this time and felt a million times better. No throwing up, no shaking and I was actually coherent.

The next few days were painful. I wanted to spend as much time with the babies as I could, so I was hardly ever in my room. This proved to be a problem for my nurses because they never knew where I was to give me my meals and medicine. I didn't mind not eating so much, but if I left a 15 minutes gap between medicine taking time, I wanted to die. I think there are two keys to a successful c-section recovery. 1. get up and move as soon as possible and 2. stay on top of your meds. I didn't have a problem at all with #1 because my babies weren't able to be in my room, so I had to get up and see them, but I had a few tricky gaps between doses on my meds a few times and I thought I was going to die. I started to get smart about it though and would go upstairs a half hour before I knew my nurses would come so I would be able to get the pills exactly on time. Yep. I was a total druggie. But really, I didn't expect my recovery to go as well as it did. Even after we all got home, I only took pain medicine for a few days. I REALLY think that moving around so much helped me recover quicker. My nurse even said that c-section moms with babies in the nicu usually recover weeks faster than moms with their babies in their rooms because they have a reason to get out of bed. So, if any of you end up having a c-section(s), do yourself a favor and walk. Even if it hurts like *@$! (which it will) do it. Honestly though, it wasn't half as bad as I expected and I'm actually toying around with the idea of just opting for c-sections for my next kid (don't worry, that wont happen for a loooong time) because my body handled it so well and I know exactly what to expect. Like I said though, that's WAY down the road and I have mini heart attacks when I think about being pregnant again. Anyways, that's my soap box about c-sections.

As far as the girl's stay, it was as close to perfect as any nicu stay could be. In fact, I felt guilty walking to the back of the nicu and seeing these tiny, tiny babies with oxygen masks, hooked up to tubes, monitors. My girls, although they needed some help at the beginning were really in perfect shape. On Wednesday, they came down with a slight case of jaundice and I walked into their room to find this:

Lillian

and Sophie

All I could do was laugh when I saw Lilly in her little face mask and Sophie in her baby straight jacket. Lillian handled her situation surprisingly well, but Sophie did NOT like being put in that body suit. It was super adorable to hear their little kitten cries and they baked under the lights. They only had to stay on them for one day which was awesome because we didn't have to get sent home with the suitcase version. Our pediatrician was pretty shocked that their jaundice cleared up as quickly as it did. Preemies are more prone to jaundice and there are many full term babies who come home still needing the suitcase.

Another thing that was keeping them in the nicu was the fact that they couldn't suck and breathe at the same time. Put anything in their mouth and they'd stop breathing. It was pretty scary seeing their oxygen levels drop and once Lillian's little lips and cheeks started to turn blue because she would not breathe. It was crazy. However, once again they conquered that skill way quicker than their pediatrician imagined and they were giving him less and less reasons to keep them in the hospital.

The nurses in the nicu were interesting. Some were fantastic and others didn't seem to do much. There were times where Josh and I would get into the room and they'd literally take off for an hour or so. We had no idea where they went and sometimes the babies would be screaming bloody murder (and if you saw them in the hospital, you know that I'm joking. Their cries were anything but murder.) or their monitors would start beeping for one reason or another and the nurse would be nowhere. Luckily, not all of them were bad and I'm particularly grateful for the last two nurses they had. The nurse the night before we left helped us bath them and gave us all sorts of tips about handling tiny babies. I was eating her words up because I knew the next day these girls would really be ours and I had no idea what I was doing. Then there was the nurse who had them the day we were sent home. She was equally awesome. She gave us more tips, helped me figure out how to nurse two babies and gave us a TON of free stuff. Tons of diapers, lots of formula, bottles, binkies, blankets, cloth diapers, etc. We had two bags overflowing with goods by the time she released us. It was great!

The first picture of them together. A few hours before going home.

Finally, after passing two car seat tests, watching baby cpr videos, and getting all the paperwork done, we were ready to go home. I couldn't believe that they really were going to let us walk out of the hospital with these two girls. It completely blew my mind. We were excited, scared to death, but I was SO ready to be done with the hospital so I wanted to get out asap. So, we bundled up the girls and b-lined it for the car. :)


The first 2 1/2 weeks home have been great. The first week was very, very tiring, but great. It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. I keep thinking that all the people who said how hard twins would be were nuts because our girls are perfect. They only got a little fussy when it was time to be fed and once they were full, they usually went right back to sleep. They were still on the same schedule as the nicu had them on, so it was really easy to get both girls taken care of at once. However, week two proved to be a bit more challenging. I'm not the best at keeping them on the same schedule and so their feeding times started to get more and more apart from each other. Even a half hour difference is a BIG deal at 3 in the morning and makes what used to take an hour, take almost two. So, since they're waking up every 3 hours, I don't get more than an 1 1/2 hours of sleep or so at a time. Honestly, it's a little rough, but they're worth it. I'm still hoping and praying that the girls continue to do as well as they have. Besides for some eye infections and them eating like savages (where's Sarah Christensen when you need her...) everything is perfect. Running on borrowed energy and not getting through a successful REM cycle is worth it. We love them. How could you not love these silly little girls though?

Sophie's mastered the Elmer Fudd stare.

And Lillian has mastered being incredibly sleepy.

Yep. We love them.

p.s. for those of you who are my facebook friends, you probably realize that I do a much better job at posting pictures there. Sorry, I even like blogging better than facebook, but it's easier to load masses of pictures over there. I'll be better at blogging. Promise.

Perfection

I'm currently editing pictures of the chiclets while Josh is singing hymns to them in Spanish.

Yep. That's perfection.

p.s. speaking of chiclets...remind me to buy gum the next time I go to the store. Thanks.

p.p.s. blogging will continue soon. And by blogging I mean tell you about our hospital stay and our first week home. Not that anyone cares, but I'd like to have my thoughts down for my own reference and since I ditched the traditional journal a few years back, this blog is all I've got.

p.p.p.s. this weekend was a big one for the girls. I took them to a yard sale and the farmer's market by myself (ok, maybe it was a bigger deal for me) and we went to church today. Next week we plan on finishing their applications for Harvard. ;)

Welcome to mommyhood

You know you're a new mom when you open google reader and see that you have 186 posts to catch up on. Will I read them? Not a chance. Why? Because I have these girls to stare at all day.

The morning of 8/9/10

Ok, so I'm already crying just thinking of what I'm going to write. I'm gonna be a mess by the time this is over...

I went to bed Sunday August 8th, expecting to sleep through the night (well, with bathroom trips every hour) and waking up the next day and check off some things on my to do list. Little did I know that by 8 o'clock the next morning, I would have two children.

Around 4:30 I woke up to a popping feeling. I stood up and immediately realized that either A) I didn't quite make it to the bathroom or B) my water broke. I eliminated option A rather quickly because like Josh so gracefully told the nurse at the hospital, I've never been much of a bed wetter. So, I woke Josh up and told him it was time to go to the hospital. I frantically tried to get all the last minute things I was meaning organize (hence the to-do-list that was going to happen the next morning) and by 4:45 we were on our way to the hospital. By 5:00 am I was strapped to monitors and they were questioning whether my water really broke (insert bed wetting comment here). They finally were convinced that it indeed had and they gave me an ultra sound to see the positions of the babies. Sophie was still hanging out frank-breech (aka bum down and feet up by head) and so they knew they had to do a c-section automatically. My doctor was out of town, but luckily I had seen the on-call doctor at my last prenatal visit so at least I knew what the man who was going to slice me open looked like. By this time it was 6:00 and he said he'd be back in an hour and we'd do the surgery.

Now, I've known my chances of having a c-section were REALLY high since about week 30. The doctor said that with the position of baby A (frank breech), there would be no chance of a traditional birth. At first I was totally bummed, but soon came to the realization that they could do whatever they needed to to insure that all 3 of our lives were spared. So, I waddled down to the operation room (yeah, I was a little annoyed they made me walk...) and I got the epidural. With a c-section, the epidural is much deeper and you're numb from the chest down. I got a little shaky and was really panicky inside (for those of you who know me, you probably know my lifelong fear of childbirth). I had prepared for several months about c-sections, but was still in denial of what was about to happen. Within 15 minutes of me waddling into the operating room, I had my girls. It was nuts. Josh stood next to me, peaking over to see the 'action'. The doctors were able to keep me slightly distracted by singing Gaston from Beauty and the Beast and talking about boating on Bear Lake. (Really? Small talk during a surgery? Singing?) However, I was truly grateful for it. I was trying not to think about what was going on, but suddenly I felt like I was suffocating. I was almost numb up to my shoulders and couldn't feel myself breathing. I panicked and started freaking out. The anesthesiologist tried to comfort me by saying what I was feeling was normal, but I didn't care.  I was sweating, shaking, and ready to call it quits (not sure how I would have done that one...) when all of the sudden I had the most peaceful feeling I've ever had in my life. I knew they were getting close. I could feel it and I knew everything would be ok. I don't know how to describe it other than it was the first time in my life where I've had to put my complete trust in God. I've never prayed so hard for strength and peace and I've never felt closer to the veil at that moment. Within seconds, I heard the cutest little cry I've ever heard. Sophie was born. They wiped her off and did whatever doctors do to newborns and then brought her over to me. I was shaking and crying so hard that I didn't feel safe holding her for more than a few seconds, but she was beautiful.

I have no idea what happened in the next two minutes because I was staring at Sophie getting weighed and all of the sudden, BOOM second baby born. They immediately realized that Lillian needed help breathing, so they lifted her over the curtain and within two second (literally. One one thousand. Two one thousand) she was gone and I wouldn't see her for another 6 hours. I'm not sure how much longer we stayed in the OR, but within what seemed like 10 minutes (really though I think it was more like 30) I was stitched up and miserably sitting in recovery without knowing what was happening to my babies. Josh was torn between staying with me and going with them to the NICU, but I wanted him with them so I would know what was happening.

So there I was stiff as a board and with the most obnoxious nurse ever. I'm sure she was just trying to get my mind off of things, but she was asking all the typical 'twin' questions (do they run in your family? Identical? What did you do when you found out? etc...etc..) and I wasn't up for answering. I was sweaty (although they kept dumping heated blankets on me because my temperature was apparently low), shaky and worried sick about my girls. All I knew was that Lillian couldn't breathe and they were in the NICU.

On my way to the hospital I sent a text to a few people (sorry if you weren't one of them, but it was early...) telling them that today was the day. The obnoxious nurse got a phone call and informed me that a lady named Lacy (yes, Lacy she called you a lady) was here to see me. I instantly burst into tears because I desperately wanted to see a familiar face. I have no idea what we talked about (morphine will do that to ya) but I was so happy to see one of my best friends and not have to talk to that nurse. Josh came back a few minutes later and showed me pictures of our daughters. I wanted so badly to see my girls, but was told that it wouldn't be until I could get out of bed that I'd be able to. It wasn't until 2 pm that this would happen.

For the next 6 hours I slept. I woke up every now and then and tried to move my legs, but nothing happened. Discouraged, I would go back to sleep or scroll through the pictures on the camera one more time. Finally at 2, I was able to move. I was still super tingly and very nauseated, but I forced myself up and in the wheel chair. It wasn't an easy ride down to the NICU. I think I threw up 3 times during the 5 minute excursion. However, I've never been more grateful to be able to sit up because it meant that I could be wheeled down to the NICU to see my tiny, precious babies.

Sophie Lynn

Lillian Jean

I couldn't and still can't, figure out why or how these babies are mine. They are already showing their personality and seem to be super babies. Surpassing their pediatrician's expectations and coming home way sooner than anyone first imagined. The first time I held them was tied for the happiest moment of my life with when I married Josh. This may have been a bit happier though because now I had a crazy amount of love for not only him, but for this family of ours. I couldn't stay with them long and that was probably the most traumatic thing about the whole experience. I knew there were moms with non-nicu babies with their little ones right in their room. They could hear them cry, they could feed them, hold them, and watch them sleep. I had to leave my little ones on the floor below me with wires and tubes coming out of them. It broke my heart and I didn't quite feel like a mother yet, but I was happy to do it because it meant they were being taken care of. I went back upstairs and continued to...thaw out...from the epidural and we returned at 8 and stayed for several hours. I was still hooked up to iv's and a catheter, but I was a lot more coherent and able to really enjoy Sophie and Lillian.

Come back for more. That was the exciting part, I'll write the rest later. And I realize I've made c-section sound awful with this post, but trust me, it wasn't that bad. Like I said, I was in shock because I was asleep at 4 and by 8 I had two children and surgery involving one of my greatest fears (yes, laugh that I fear childbirth, but I always have and probably always will). Anyways, I'll write the second half later. For now I've gotta catch some shut eye before the girls wake up hungry. Oh the joys of being a mom.

I saw this when I walked into the nursery this morning

Happy as can be patiently awaiting food. No cries, no nothing.
Perfect.

Really though, their birth/hospital story is coming soon. Promise.

We're home!

The girls flew through the NICU stage of their lives in 3 1/2 days. I love holding them at the same time without monitors and iv's attached. Last night was our first night home and I'm happy to announce that we have next to perfect babies. Hardly any crying at all and I actually woke up to an alarm to feed them instead of screaming. They HATE being naked which doesn't surprise me because remember how they've been modest from the time they were in my belly? They're also super strong. They lift their heads up, scoot around their crib and roll to their sides. For 36 weeker preemie babies, I think that's awesome. They've got the cutest little kitten cries and are way too small for most newborn clothes we have for them. We love them and can't figure out why Heavenly Father sent us these two angels.

They look a lot alike when they're sleeping (as seen in this picture) but when they're awake they look completely different. Fraternal twin sisters for sure. Their personalities are also completely different. Lillian has a very docile and go-with-the-flow attitude and Sophie has more of a spitfire personality.

Thanks everyone for you congrats, flowers, balloons, gifts, and visits. This whole experience has made me realize once again that these girls DEFINITELY did not come into this world without anybody to love them.

Stay tuned for their birth story and to hear about our hospital stay.

Sophie and Lillian's birthday...literally.

On August 9, 2010 (8/9/10) we welcomed Sophie Lynn.....

and Lillian Jean...

They were born at 7:56 and 7:58 am via c-section. They weighed in at 5 lbs 2 oz and 5 lbs 4 oz. They can't decide if they like breathing or not (silly little girls), so have been in the NICU, but they are off oxygen and doing great. To say we are completely smitten is an understatement. They are perfect and we are doing great.

Remember when

I looked like this at 14 weeks?

If I only knew what was coming...
I'm starting to really feel bad for these girls. There's literally no room for them to move. One will stick a foot out and I'll try to gently push it back, but it wont budge. In fact, I've gotten a nice little isolated ring of stretch marks* specifically from Sophie's head. Once they're here, I'm afraid they'll be little rigamortis babies because they'll be so stiff and want to stretch as much as they can. They can't be comfortable stuffed in there like they are and they should probably make their appearance soon for their own good.

Also, this song popped into my head this morning and I can't get it out. Help me!

I'm not sure what's more funny. The actual song (I mean, she's talking to her diary) or this girl's super spllin' skillz.

*I've never mentioned the beating my body has taken from this pregnancy for a reason. It took until about week 33 for my stretch marks to even begin appear. There's no way I'm posting a pic, because you people don't need to see my belly, but I must say that I've seen some terrifying pregnant (twin and singleton) belly pictures and I'm grateful for the way mine looks. I'll take my itty bitty marks over grand canyon size ones any day. I am lucky. However, I'm realizing that once this balloon pops, I'll be left with some (some is an understatement) unpleasant left over skin. That's what I'm not excited for.

Any guesses on when they'll come?

Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!

I bet when you clicked on this, you thought you'd see pictures of our babies, right? Sadly, you were mistaken. They apparently don't realize how awesome the world is and aren't coming out to enjoy it yet. I keep trying to coax them out, but nothing seems to be working. 10 pounds of baby strapped to my front side is getting harder and harder to deal with. I'm patiently waiting for these contractions to get closer together.

Anyways....the real meaning behind this post is because it's JOSH'S birthday! 28 years ago, this little guy entered the world.

He is awesome and our children are lucky to have him as their dad.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Mangelson

This should not be funny, but it's hilarious.

I had a friend post this on facebook this morning and thought I'd share.
First watch this (it's gets funny at 1:00):



and then this:


Told you. Hilarious.

If you didn't catch it, that was my way of subtly complaining...