{insert eclectic blog post here}
I feel like my blog has been so blah lately and I guess that's because we've been so blah lately. The girls are still sick, but I think there's a light at the end of this tunnel. At least I hope. I want to believe it because a person (or two) can't possibly be sick for an entire month straight, right? RIGHT?
Let's hope not.
Anyway, this week I've had the most intense case of cabin fever that
I've ever had. I have probably left the house less than 10
times since Christmas. Because the girls were sick this week, we had to
cancel two play dates and a potential reunion with my roommates. And
I've been going crazy. I've tried a lot of those "how to keep your
toddler entertained" things on pinterest. And although some of them have
lasted 5 minutes or so, the only thing that really keeps my girls
entertained is coloring. With colored pencils to be specific. More specifically beautiful colored pencils. I don't *heart* a lot of things, but I do heart Target.
This week I realized a major flaw in myself and in my parenting. Wanna know what it is? I'm a wuss. Really, I am. When the girls were first born, I thought it was ridiculous to stop living your life just because you had a baby babies. The girls were born in the beginning of August, so I didn't have the "people are sick" excuse to not get out. So, we went out. The girls were not even two weeks old and I took them to a Farmer's Market. We went up the canyon to have a picnic when they were barely a month old. We just did stuff like we always do. Since they've gotten a little bigger and a little a bajillion times harder, I've shut myself in. You can only take so many rude glares or ridiculous remarks from strangers (or people you know...) before you start to think, "Maybe I don't belong in public. Maybe I am an annoyance to everyone around me. Maybe it would be better to just stay inside all day, every day." And with the weather being so freakishly cold, I haven't felt like I had another option.
If I need to go grocery shopping, I wait until a friend can go with me, or Josh, or I just send him. Somehow I've lost my "I can do anything" attitude and have talked myself into thinking the only thing I can do is hang out at home in my sweat pants.
But guess what? I can do things with these girls. Remember that play date I had last week? The one with the crazy awesome roller coaster thing? Well, those girls and I went to the City Creek Mall several months ago. 3 adults and 6 babies. I essentially had the twins on my own and I survived. It was awesome. I can do it! I need to remember that and so I'm going to. I was talking to Josh about it a few nights ago and he was really encouraging. I mean, moms go and do fun things with their kids all the time, right? This isn't ground breaking, but it was quite a realization.
So my new goal? Take my kids to Target. Go to museums (kid friendly, of course). Go to the grocery store. The them to Ikea. Take them OUT by myself. No friends. No helpers. No husband. Just me and my girls.
This might sound silly to all of you normal moms that actually leave the house with your kids, but it's huge for me. And I'm well aware that it'll probably suck. And I'll get all the 'twin' comments that we all get, but ya know what? I'm gonna do it. Starting next week. I have several places in mind that I want to hit up and I'll definitely blog if I survive it. ;)
Am I alone in this? Are there other moms who have essentially given up on being human?
I just read this post to my husband because he is scared to leave the house with our twins. He's an at-home dad so he totally feels your pain. I take our boys out on my own every once in a while, but I end up feeling like I must have some kind of death wish. It's supposed to get easier, right?
ReplyDeleteSee, and I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum right now. I had my oldest babysit Connor for me yesterday afternoon, since he didn't have school, while I went out to do some grocery shopping, and as I was driving away, I felt the most awful guilt at having left. I literally had to force myself to keep driving down the road, and not turn around and go get him. I do take him out to run errands with me, and I've done it so often, that to get out by myself feels like I'm betraying him somehow. So, I've got to go the other way. Maybe we should just meet in the middle!
ReplyDeleteI avoid certain things because I feel judged or uncomfortable with him there...like relief society. And now that he's getting older and less content to just sit in his cars eat for hours, it's harder to go out by myself all the time, so sometimes I just opt for home cuz it seems easier. I am totally ready for this winter to be over so we can go outside!
ReplyDeleteI think you are stellar Miss Brittany! Just stellar!
ReplyDeleteQuestion...after you do some alone things with your girls these next few weeks, can I come play too? I am off track the next 2 weeks and would LOVE to visit you 3!!
Yes! Let's do it's been FAR too long. I'll hop on over to facebook and we can get something planned.
DeleteUm, I try to avoid the grocery store and I only have one...so... clearly you are a head of the game. And I nanny a little girl and when I have both - we NEVER go anywhere. You got this! You can do it!
ReplyDeleteI have to comment- it has been a while since I have been able to go out with my older twins now. Either I was pregnant, and couldn't physically do it, or I've been tied down at home with feeding the newborns, and the older girls are busy at preschool. My mom comes over every week to babysit so I can go out and do grocery shopping on my own, so I never take any of the kids. Yesterday, I really wanted to just take them with me to go run some errands. They are 4 now, and it was so incredibly easy, it surprised me. I think I kind of gave up on it too when they were 2 year olds, so it has been a rare occurrence since then. That is a ROUGH stage, especially if you have strong-willed kids x2. It will get better-more enjoyable and less stressful. Honestly, when I found out we were having twins again, I got the most apprehensive about going through the 2 year old stage with 2 at the same time again. Hang in there. It won't always be so difficult. There are so many things that you write about your experiences with your twins that remind me so much of mine.
ReplyDeleteI feel exactly the same way. I rarely go anywhere by myself and when I do iy is a huge event. Brett, me, and the boys went to Olive Garden a few weeks ago and this couple asked to be moved away from us the second they saw Creed and Carson. I was mortified. They were even extremely well behaved that night. It was so sad! Oh well...we must live on! You have inspired me to show my face in public more often :)
ReplyDeleteI think you're great and can do whatever you want! It's been a process, but I'm to the point that I could care less what people think or say (when it's arrogant, etc, particularly from people that have no business in my life). Do it, and lets playdate together one day in the next 10 when your girls are feeling a bit better. :)
ReplyDeleteMy girls turned 2 in November and I feel the EXACT SAME WAY. Honestly, I dont take them to places that dont have double shopping carts (the kind where they can both sit in a seat)we havent been on a play date in months except for with my sister and her kids. Youre definitely not alone in this, and we can do it!!!
ReplyDelete