7 months and thoughts on birth

Since the birth of Becky's boys I've been thinking a lot about the birth of my girls and their hospital stay. To be honest, I didn't fully realize the reasons I had a c-section until a few weeks ago. When my water broke in the middle of the night, I knew I was headed for surgery. Sophie (baby A) had been breach in every single ultra sound (and we had at least 10 during my 8 months of pregnancy) and although Lillian flipped around a lot, her latest position was also breech. So, I wasn't surprised when we arrived at the hospital to find Sophie in her usual position and Lillian transverse (sideways). The doctor then mumbled something about the placenta delivering first and how dangerous that was. He called my uterus a 'zoo' and then mumbled that if we didn't do surgery, all 3 of us would be dead in a few hours. Comforting, right?

I was too nervous/excited/uncomfortable/in shock to know what he was really talking about, so I just went with it and waddled down to the operating room.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I was on babycenter and saw a thread about when you would have died if it weren't for modern medicine. Several people said at the birth of their children since they were breech, heart rate dropped, labor wouldn't progress, etc. One lady mentioned something about placenta previa. I didn't know what that was, so I did a quick google search and quickly discovered that's what Sophie's placenta was doing. Basically, it's where the placenta grows underneath the baby and is delivered first. This is extremely dangerous to both mother and baby(ies) and you're facing shock, a hysterectomy, suffocation of the baby, and bleeding to death.

Holy scary.

I knew my c-section saved my life, but it wasn't until that moment I really realized it saved my life. I always thought it had to do with the position of the babies. That didn't even matter because of the position of the placenta attached to Sophie.

Why am I writing this? Becky, just gave birth to her twin boys over the weekend. She had a very scary birth experience and her c-section saved the life of her and her boys. I literally sobbed as I read her birth story because it hit me again: I am so thankful for doctors, medicine and technology. I am thankful I was able to have my c-section. I feel privileged I was able to have one. Think of the millions of women through out history who didn't have that option. They were left to bleed to death because there was nothing anyone could do to fix it. Beyond that, I'm grateful for the technology that it took to keep my babies alive once they got here. We were truly blessed that the girls were as healthy as they were, but there were still some scary moments in those first few days. Seeing your child's oxygen levels drop in constantly and seeing the panic in the nurse's faces wasn't fun at all.

But it truly is a miracle when you think that

Sophie went from this

to this

and Lillian went from this

to this

in 7 months.

I still don't understand why we've been blessed the way we have been. I've definitely had several cases of survivor's guilt when I hear of stories that don't end as happily as ours. Out of all the possibilities that could have gone wrong from the moment these two girls decided it was time to join our family, to the time they came home with us from the hospital, nothing bad happened. I guess I did land in the hospital once around week 28 for stupid flu induced contractions, but that was it. We were blessed.

The past 7 months have been amazing. Josh and I have two daughters who have completely changed our world. We chatted yesterday about how weird it was to think about our lives before these girls and it truly is. Currently, as I finish this post, Sophie is laughing at herself in a mirror and Lillian is laughing at Sophie. They're becoming friends and nothing at this moment could make me happier.


Don't you love Sophie's boob grab? I know I do.

Happy 7 months, girls.