I like sleep and I'm not getting any. I figure it's been since about May since I've slept more that 5 hours at a time. The longest stretch the girls have slept has been about 6 hours and my body is really starting to rebel. Lately, I've been getting up at midnight, 3 and 6 with the babies. I'm exhausted every day, I'm gaining weight, I have no energy, and I feel like a slug. I've also had an underlining case of the grumps the past 6 1/2 months that I release on Josh, so I'm sure he'd appreciate me getting a good night's sleep as well. Luckily, we've concurred the swaddling dilemma. We now 'swaddle' with their arms out and they are usually able to sooth themselves to sleep. Sometimes, it doesn't even take a binky. However, come midnight(ish) they scream and scream and scream. I usually feed them in hopes that they'll sleep the rest of the night, but then at 3, they're up again. Here's my issue though- do I feed them every time they wake up? That seems silly, so I've just giving them binkies and let them go back to sleep, but then 3 hours later they're up again. Sometimes I will feed them at 3, hoping they'll sleep until 9, but that hasn't worked either. As soon as 6 o'clock rolls around, they're up, hungry and ready to go. I need to figure out a way to get them to eat more during the day, so they wont need or want food at night. We're up to about 5-6 oz at each feeding and most of the time it's impossible to get them to eat more than that (why did they have to take after me for their eating habits? WHY?).
I'm also not one of those women who are completely against letting them cry it out. My only hesitation to go that route is the fact that we have two in an apartment. I'm afraid Josh will find a bomb by our front door in the morning in retaliation for the screaming babies. Have I mentioned how loud they are? We always get comments on how loud the girls are. Again, they got that unfortunate trait from their mother... I've had Sophie sleep in the living room a few nights, and that really helped Lillian sleep better, but I want Sophie to get used to sleeping in her own crib (yes, we now have 2 cribs and it FREAKS me out. Seriously, who puts a single baby in a giant crib? It's so weird to me) and I'm afraid if she gets used to sleeping in her bouncy seat in the living room that we'll have to start the whole process over again when we move her back into the crib. Should we move her crib into the living room? I'm seriously considering it.
I know this is the standard complaint of every new mother, but the reality is that I don't think I can function much longer like this. Taking care of 2 babies by myself all day while being a walking zombie is exhausting. Taking naps isn't really an option because I take forever to fall asleep during the day, there's SO much to do (that still hardly ever gets done) and I ALWAYS wake up from naps more groggy. I need some good old fashioned REM cycles in the middle of the night.
So help. What should I do? What amazing tricks do you mothers have to get your kids to sleep. I know there are some of you out there, because I read your blogs. :) I'm thinking I need to get them to eat more during the day and establish a set bed time with a pretty firm routine. We go through periods of having a good nightly routine, but most of the time we're just trying to survive (that sounds a little dramatic) and keep them both happy while still taking care of ourselves.
All I know is this mama needs sleep.
Aren't they adorable? I know I've had this picture on my blog before, but it's one of my favorites and I haven't uploaded any new pictures in several days, so this is what I've got.
You don't have to listen to me, but I swear by baby wise. I know what you're thinking...yah yah. But really! Routine is key. As I'm sure you already have a routine. But this is how we do it around here and Millie has been sleeping through the night since about 3 months. I feed her at 7 and then give her solids...then play a little bit, get jammies on etc, and then put her down anywhere from 8-8:30. Then I wake her up at 10pm to feed her...by wake her up I mean keep the light of in her room, turn the hall light on and sit in the rocking chair and feed her. I don't say a word to her. Then when she's done, back in bed for the night. If she wakes up between 10pm and 7 am she only gets the paci. Yes, I have had to go in there a couple times a night to give her her paci, which is exhausting but a couple nights like that is better than every night. She finally got the hang of it and knows that its bedtime and not eating time. Try it out! Let me know how it goes.
ReplyDeleteShe is up by 7 am to eat, but she will usually hang out with me in bed and sometimes goes back to sleep till about 815am. good luck!!
so sorry! I look back at the newborn stage and think to myself how did i do that?? Hope you get more sleep soon.
ReplyDeleteDoes Josh ever get up with them and give you a break? I always (secretly) wished sometimes I wasn't breastfeeding so Tim could handle nighttime feedings.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've got NO advice for you. My 18-month-old still wakes up that much to eat, but it doesn't bother me too much since he just nurses and goes right back to sleep... usually no screaming involved.
Brittany, I'm soooo sorry!!!! Sleep deprivation is horrible. The only thought that comes to me, at this time is that your babes are teething. At least I can tell Lillian is really teething. Give them something at night to ease their teething pain, like Motrin. Ask the pharmacist or pediatrician about it. Motrin lasts a lot longer, about six hours. I bet this would help a lot. Their teeth hurt so they're probably wanting to eat more just because the sucking helps. You can put oragel on their gums at night, too!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/teething-sleep/
Other than that, I can't think of anything right now. If it seems to help, I'd totally put the other crib in the frontroom for now! Survival mode is what you go into for sleep. I know, we're doing it with Ryan. I know it sounds bad but Justin ends up in Ryan's bed a lot. I'm pregnant and can't deal with it right now and Justin is sooo tired. We could come and get the babies for the day and let you rest. I'm calling you right now... Ha ha! ;)
I know the frustration! Ellie hasn't been sleeping as well the last couple nights either because of being sick and teething. And when she does wake up in the night, I'm faced with the dilemma: feed her or not? (I don't even have the option of binkie, which I hate). I try really hard not to feed her. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
ReplyDeleteI'm a big fan of keeping them on a pretty strict schedule during the day, though. I've never read Baby Wise, but from what I've heard about it, I do basically the same thing. And we also make sure to give her a bigger bottle before bed and, lately, some solids. It seems to help.
Good luck! I can only imagine having to this with two. You're super woman. :)
There are a lot of ways to do it. But the key to all of them is routine routine routine.
ReplyDeleteCome up with a good one and do it every night.
I don't have babies and therefore know nothing about this but you should ask my sister-in-law. She has triplets and managed to master sleep training with multiples (a whole different story when one baby crying disrupts everyone). She would love to answer your questions. here is her blog http://www.teedle.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteThere is a little place to ask questions on the right hand side under their pictures. Good luck and you are amazing!
I can see you have alot of people's advice up there. Ive only had the triplets so I can SWEAR by it. But Baby Wise has saved my life. But it was hell to get there. It took alot of sleepless nights and angry adults at me to keep everything on track. But now that it works like a charm everyone thinks Im brillant. haha
ReplyDeleteIf you have any questions about what we do with our girls at night or anything please let me know. Im happy to help in any way I can.
If you want them to eat more in the day, start solids! :) They stay fuller longer. I think with ryker I did his first meal of solids at night so that it would help him sleep longer. Or you could put some rice cereal in their bottles at night. I did that for a little while before actually starting solids I think.
ReplyDeleteI also love the "No-cry sleep solution" books by Elizabeth pantley. They have some great ideas and tips to try!
Some babies just need to eat more too. When Ryker was 2 or 3 months old, he slep all night for a month, and then a few months later, he started waking up again to eat. I tried giving him a bottle of water, or a binky, but he didn't buy it. So if they are hungry, feed them.
Good luck! Love, Marla
Sorry i don't know who jamie is. this is your friend marla, i am at the library and apparently someone before me was logged in!
ReplyDeleteI swear by putting oatmeal or rice in their bottle right before bedtime. I put one scoop of oatmeal in Sage's bottle when she was 7 weeks old and she slept through the night from then on. When she got bigger I upped it to two scoops. Now that we're on solids though I leave it out. It's definitely worth a try and it works quick..no schedule changes involved!
ReplyDeleteMy brother and sister in law got blue chamomile as an essential oil and they would rub it on the baby's tummy. The baby would be asleep within a half hour because the oil absorbs into the skin and into the bloodstream. They did this to their baby with disabilities and he was sleeping through the night after 3 weeks. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI second the solids - my son is just 6 months old and a month ago he was waking ever hour or two at night. So I started giving him some rice cereal in the evening - took a week or so until he was eating a decent amount - but since then he has only been waking once or twice in the night, and I'm hoping he'll cut back even more once he eats more solids. Also I've found a dreamfeed can be useful before you go to bed, he'll generally sleep until at least 4am after that. Good luck - I imagine it must be even more tricky with two of them!
ReplyDeleteI didn't read through all these comments, they'e too long. So my advice might already be in there: but I got a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Twins specifically about sleep training twins.
ReplyDeleteand I would highly recommend it. (Even though I obviously haven't tried it out yet.)
But I have it if you're in the area and would like to borrow it, I am happy to hand it over.
These are all great ideas! I like the solids idea, some rice cereal! I'm sure they'll love it and their tummies will be fuller. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel for you. When Ellie was not sleeping through the night Scott was in school, working two jobs, and in the ROTC (and waking up at 5:00 most days) so I got up with her almost every single time. Sometimes it was once or twice a night, sometimes it was 5, 6, or 7 times a night.
ReplyDeleteThe things that worked for me were:
1. feeding her formula (one of the main reasons I quit nursing) and feeding her solids, especially in the few hours before bedtime
2. letting her cry it out
I had gotten into the bad habit of nursing her to sleep but it had to stop. I couldn't do it anymore. She cried for an hour the first few times, then twenty minutes, then five, then none. I would go comfort her every 10 minutes or so, but I had to let her learn to self soothe.
Good luck. Sleeping again (which will happen, I promise!) makes being a mom a million times more fun.
Start during the day when you are relatively sane. Let them cry it out for naps. Make sure they are fed and dry and warm, and put them to bed when they are tired but not asleep. Let them get used to falling asleep on their own.
ReplyDeleteIt's all about how they get themselves to sleep--we all wake up in the night--but if they are used to you helping them to go to sleep, they'll just keep crying. So do it at naptime when your neighbors are all at work and you can watch Oprah and tune them out. If it helps to have a pack & play in the other room so they are separate, do that. I don't have twins, obviously, but I have had plenty of room-sharers, and I've had to stagger bedtimes by 10-15 minutes, and that helps, too. Good luck!
no advice. Just fear. let me know what u figure out in about 5 months....:)
ReplyDeleteOMGosh, I totally agree with everything Cheryl said. I'll just say ditto to her advice :) We had to separate ours. And do a sort of cry-it-out (a modified one that I was comfortable with). And cereal in the bottle didn't work for us either BUT I'm glad because my pediatrician actually advised against it and said that its TOO many calories per ounce and leads quickly to obese babies (which, if ya think about it makes total sense). It gets MUCHO better after they learn to soothe themselves but it will involve crying (them, you, yeah). G'luck!
ReplyDelete