Curly Hair Catastrophe

I tried a new way of curling my hair today. I wanted big, loose curls. I usually curl my hair with my flat iron because the curling iron and myself have a sketchy past. Today however, I got out the retched thing and tried to copy a youtube video I watched last night (yes, that's how bad I am at hair...I resort to internet tutorials). Let's just say it didn't work. You know how little pageant girls look in say, Texas? Their hair looks like it's causing them cancer as they stand there, and wave their flashy baton. Well folks, that's what I look like today. Sad. I'm almost to the point of giving. up. God gave hair somewhere between straight and wavy, and I've tried to push it more towards waves but I'm throwing in the towel. Anyone want a crappy curling iron? :)